Tertia Riegler

Feminine Embodiment Coach

self-care

I Love This Feminine Embodiment Practice

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I have a feminine embodiment practice that I do three to four times a week, and it has become my go-to practice for connecting with my feminine flow, my ease and my creativity.

It’s also one of the first practices that I teach all of my clients to support them to connect into their own depths, and in this video, I show you how I do it.

The intention of doing a feminine embodiment practice like this is to become vulnerable, intimate and honest with yourself, and meet yourself where you are. 

As we go through our days, there are so many things that occupy our minds and our thoughts. And so throughout the day, you might find that you really get disconnected from your body. This movement practice is really going to help you to drop into the body, and into the truth of what you are feeling or experiencing.

There’s no wrong way to do this because you’re following your own body’s cues, you’re expressing the language of your internal world.  And so your movement will look different to my expression and what I feel or sense or experience. 

When you do this feminine movement practice, because you follow the cues of your body, it’s different to dancing where you would follow the rhythm and the cues of the music.

I love this feminine embodiment practice

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

Reclaiming your feminine energy: break the cycle of burnout

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Female burnout is a hard reality. And, as women, we seem to be especially vulnerable to burnout.

We live in a world that doesn’t really allow for our feminine practices of connecting into the body, of slowing down, and aligning with our own energy cycles.

Our minds are amazing, but our minds move a lot faster than our bodies. If you are going to be plugged into your mind all the time, you will have you move faster in the world, than what is true for your body.

Added to that, we tend to relate our worth to external measures of success, and how productive we are, or how much we give.  It is simply exhausting to live in this way.

In this video, I explore how reclaiming our feminine energy can break the cycle of burnout.

Reclaiming your feminine energy: break the cycle of burnout

I share:

  • My challenge with the personal development industry
  • How leading with the mind is not sustainable
  • The importance of dropping into your body
  • What do to with challenging boundaries

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.  

3 REAL Ways To Embody Self Love

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Learn about embodied self-love and how you can go from mind-based living to whole being living. As someone who is walking this path myself, I discovered how my self-love and self-worth has been activated through deepening into my feminine energy which helps me uphold my boundaries and overcome self-doubt.

In this video, you’ll learn about 3 practices to embody self-love to create real and sustainable self-worth on a deep level.

If you prefer to read instead of watch, here you go:

Prefer reading? Here is the transcript

In this video, I’m going to share with you three real ways in which you can embody self-love. Now often when we hear about self-love and how you can love yourself more, what comes to mind are practices like doing something nice for yourself, or using positive affirmations and self-talk to boost your self-esteem. We think about things like going for a facial or buying yourself something nice. Now these things are all supportive of helping us to deepen into self-love, but they are not really sustainable. And in this video, then I want to look at some other ways that we can create sustainable change when it comes to self-love, our self-worth and truly showing up as our most authentic selves. My name is Tertia, and on this channel, I talk about all things self-worth and self-love, feminine energy, and femininity, magnetism, pleasure, and all the ways in which you can stand sovereign in your power. So if that speaks to your soul, then I invite you to join our community and subscribe and make sure you hit the bell to get all the notifications of my new videos.

So I’m going to get straight into it. And the three ways that we can really begin to embody self-love has to do with our inner critic, with boundaries and with our feminine energy. So let’s get into it. So the first point that I want to speak about, and by the way, these aren’t like sequential steps. So there isn’t really a step one and a step two and a step three of how you can love yourself, but I’ve just put them in this order. So the first one that I want to talk to is to disarm the inner critic. Now the inner critic really has the purpose of keeping us safe. So it’s going to always uphold the comfort zone that we find ourselves in. And as soon as you move beyond that comfort zone, the inner critic is going to set off alarms because there’s a potential that you are putting yourself at risk.

Some of us, however, have a very, very overeager, overzealous and just downright mean in a critic and that’s really what I want to talk to in this video when I speak about disarming this mean inner critic. So this inner critic can have the voice of a parent, it is made up of different belief systems that we’ve accumulated through our lives. And it also is made up through our conditioning, through what we find from our culture and our society. Now, I want to just explore three ways in which this very strong and mean inner critic most probably may show up for you.

Now, the first one is the voice of self-doubt. And this is that little voice that says, no matter what I do, I’m not going to cut it. I’m not good enough. I’m not ready yet to go there or to do that. I first need to have many other things in place and up level my skills before I can dare to follow my dreams.

Another way that our inner critic can show up is as the good girl. I always put others needs ahead of myself, unable to say no, thinking that other people know better than me. So the good girl doesn’t really trust herself to be an authority in our own life. She doesn’t trust herself to say no. The good girl shows up when we don’t dare to disappoint anyone else. So we are really living according to these standards that have been put in place by our family systems and by our culture and by society.

And then the third way in which this inner critic can show up is in the way of being a perfectionist. And speaking as a recovering perfectionist, the perfectionist wants everything be just right. So the perfectionist says, I have to get it right. If it’s not perfect, if it’s not 100% a certain way just like that, then it’s not going to be good enough.

Now, the most powerful tool that you are going to have in dealing and disarming this very mean inner critic is you have to start with awareness. So awareness of this voice, what this voice is saying and how that then shows up in your life, how you feel and respond and act as a result of what this voice is telling you. That’s really going to be your entry into disarming the inner critic. And then in my experience, the foundational thing that will really support you to love yourself deeply and not be influenced by this mean self-criticism and even self-hatred that the inner critic can create in yourself, is to create a sense of safety. So for me, that foundation of safety is key into really then being able to truly love yourself in a sustainable and a real way.

So the second practice or way that you can then begin to embody self-love is through exploring and working and upholding your boundaries. So our boundaries really inform every single decision in our lives. And some of these things that I spoke to in the inner critic, especially around the good girl or the perfectionist is going to affect the way that you uphold your boundaries. And you might find that when you are tired or when you want to avoid conflict, or when you don’t want to get into trouble, then you just don’t have any boundaries in place. And then as soon as you get angry or you’ve had enough, and this is now, this is where you draw the line, then your boundaries become very rigid.

So here’s the thing. You get to decide what your boundaries are and you get to decide what they should look like. You get to decide what you are available for. So if you want to play around with boundaries a little bit, then you can try this out, and think of a situation where you don’t have a boundary in place or where you are not able to really uphold your boundary. And then imagine what boundary it is that you would like to have instead of what it is that you’re having now. And then you can play around a little bit and imagine, so if I’m upholding this boundary, who would I be in upholding this boundary? How would I hold my body? How would I sound? How would I speak? What words would I use? What would my energy be like? And this is really another way of becoming intimate with the language of your body and becoming intimate with a way in which you can best express yourself.

And then this brings us now to the third real way in which you can truly embody self-love, and that is to reclaim your feminine energy. So this is a journey that I am on. It’s a journey of mine that is still busy unfolding. And one of the things that I have found great value in, in this aspect of reclaiming my feminine energy is to work with archetypes. And I want to speak specifically to the wild woman archetype in this video. I’ve created a video a while ago, which I will link for you in the description below on my self-love journey and connecting with my inner wild woman. And I’ve also more recently made a video on archetypes and I’ll link both of those for you in the description below. So our wild woman is our untamed truth. Our wild woman is that essential, wild, authentic, and raw aspect of ourselves, where we are unflinchingly honest, where we have the courage to face our darkness, where we have the courage to embrace and play with our likeness.

And when we really align ourselves and uphold the energy of this wild woman archetype, what that means is that we truly become the authority in our own lives. We become leaders where we don’t rely on other people’s opinions and the way that other people do things and expectations rather of what others have of us. So we don’t align our lives to that, but we align our lives to what our own inner truth is. And the key question that you will ask yourself is, how can I live as my most true and authentic self today, or right now?

Now, practically, when we begin to embrace and embody the energy of the wild woman, what it looks like is it looks like starting to live more in sync with your own natural rhythm. So really following the direction and the impulses from your body, it also means that we slow down. And in the slowing down, you are then able to connect within, you are able to connect to the truth of the boundaries that you want to uphold, you are able to connect to that authentic voice that is not the perfectionist, that is not the good girl, that is not that voice of self-doubt. When we really and truly want to embody self-love, it asks of us to go and investigate and inspect and unravel all of the conditions and the beliefs and the limitations that are alive inside of us.

Self-love asks of us to be courageous and to believe in ourselves. And somehow this can be such a scary thought, the idea that I can believe in myself 100%. But these practices and these ways will get you so much closer to really showing up and standing in your sovereign power, fully embodying self-love. So I’d love to know how this resonated with you, and please share your thoughts, ideas, and impressions with me in the comments below. I also want to ask you to please share this video with anyone who you think might find it helpful and give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it so that I know to create more of these. Thank you very much for watching. I appreciate you, I love you, and I will see you in the next one. Bye.

SELF-CARE ACTION PLAN FOR HSP (+ FREE WORKBOOK)

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This post is part 2 in the 2-part series on Self-care for Highly Sensitive People (HSP). Find part 1 here.

In this post, I want to share with you a self-care action plan for highly sensitive people (HSP), which you can create specific to your needs, and some of the most important things that we need as highly sensitive people in our daily self-care practice.

Defining self-care

Contrary to what you may see on social media, self-care is not a luxury!  

Self-care is not about pampering yourself with facials, manicures and spending money on expensive treatments.

The kind of self-care I’m talking about is doing the things that nourish your soul.  The types of things that honor you and fulfill you.

Self-care is any activity that restores you, revitalizes you, and recharges you.

If you prefer to watch this on my YouTube channel, you can do that here.

HSP and self-care

If you’re a highly sensitive person your nervous system becomes more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated than people who don’t identify as highly sensitive.

Therefore,  highly sensitive people need self-care more than anyone, to be able to cope and to really thrive.

It really is a non-negotiable for us! And we want to make self-care a daily part of our lives and not a weekly task or when we are feeling exhausted. 

Highly sensitive people have three very specific self-care needs that supports our wellbeing.

1 HPS’s need movement

Any type of movement is very important for highly sensitives.  

Part of the HSP trait is overthinking. The deep level at which we process information leaves us spending a lot of time in our minds.

Movement has the effect of automatically grounding us back in the body.  This is a really good thing as our bodies are already in the present moment.

The present moment is right here, and right now.  When we are present in the moment it becomes almost impossible to think about our past or worry about the future.

2 HSP’s need time to process

We need time to think about the things that we have experienced.  

We really do well when we have time to think about our observations and the things that we’ve noticed and to really process and work through all of the experiences that we had.

3 We need alone time

Having or taking alone time it helps you to process all the information your taken in during the day.

Alone time (away from your phone, your laptop, and your “people”) allows you to become introspective and reflect on your thoughts, which really feeds our souls.

Self-care action plan for HSP

Download your free action plan workbook here to help you complete this activity.

Our aim here is to create a practical and useful self-care action plan for the HSP that you can do every day.

There are five core self-care categories that you can consider as you complete your action plan.

  1. Physical self-care (activities to take care of your body, movement, healthy diet, enough sleep) 
  2. Emotional self-care (activities that you do to support your emotions, healing core wounds, meditation, journaling)
  3. Mental self-care (activities to feed your mind, restricting social media, reading, using affirmations)
  4. Social self-care (engaging with other people in your life)
  5. Spiritual self-care (connecting to something greater than yourself through prayer and meditation)

Step 1

The first step in creating your self-care action plan is to brainstorm all the things that bring you joy.  Think of the things that restore you and make you feel recharged.

Allow yourself to daydream and don’t hold yourself back. At this point you are simply brainstorming ideas.

Step 2

It is useful to know what your particular triggers are, and that is what we explore in the next step.

When you know what your typical triggers are, you can create a plan, and anticipate what to do in a situation that has the potential to trigger you.

You might have your own signs that tell you you are triggered.  I tend to feel fried, or wired. You may cry at the drop of a hat, feel irritable or dizzy.

Some of the things that might trigger you are bright lights,  loud noises or crowds.  You may respond strongly to feeling hunger or being too warm or cold.  And how do you feel when you haven’t had enough sleep?

Step 3

The next step is to notice where you place your focus.

The fastest way to feel like you are powerless and a victim, is to focus only on those things that are out of your control.

So, take a moment and write down all the things that you can control.

Think about your emotional response, the way that you take care of yourself and the types of media and news that you choose to consume.   What about the way that you show up for yourself and for the people in your life.

This is such an important part of the self-care process,  because it has to do with personal healing.

Changing your focus from an external locus of control to an internal locus has power.  Now you can begin to choose how you show up  and how you will emotionally respond to the things that are happening in your world.

This will give you a sense of being more grounded and stable. When you focus on the things that you can control it gives you the ability to be there for yourself.

Step 4

The final step in your action plan is to put together a routine.

Routines are super helpful because

 a) it’s easier to stick to a routine and, 

b) you don’t have to think about what it is that you need to do.

Our brains like routine as it eliminates the need to think about what to do next, so routines are very useful when you want to begin to create a new habit.

Review your list now and take a look at everything you wrote down in the different steps.

Choose one thing from this list that you will be able to do every day,  keeping in mind your lifestyle and your current life situation.

Ideally you want to choose something that will be easy to implement and not change things so much that you would rather not do it, because it is too much effort!

Implementing your HSP action plan

The secret to creating good habits that stick is to start small.  Do a little bit every day and build your way up.  

If you found this post on creating a self-care action plan for the HSP helpful, then share this with your community. Thanks for stopping by!

SELF-CARE STRUGGLES FOR HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE (HSP)

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This post is part 1 in the 2-part series on Self-care for Highly Sensitive People (HSP). You can find part 2 here.

In this post, we’ll talk about the struggles that highly sensitive people (HSP) have to begin to create a regular self-care routine.  In Part 2 we look at different types of self-care rituals that work especially well for HSPs.

By the end of this post, you’ll have a better understanding of the inner workings of your own mind as to why you might be struggling to be consistent with taking time for yourself to practice self-care.

As an HSP or empath, we’re more prone to overwhelm because of our sensory sensitivity.

And yet, often we have resistance to doing things that will help us cope better with this overwhelm.  

That is typically a symptom of an underlying problem.   There’s a reason why we don’t do what we know we should, and in this post, we will explore 5 self-care struggles the HSP has.

If you prefer, you can also watch this on my YouTube channel:

1  We believe we don’t deserve to take time for ourselves

One of the core belief systems that most people in the world struggle with is the thought of not being good enough.  This leads to if I’m not good enough, then I don’t deserve good things to happen to me.

The idea of not being good enough most often comes from the messages that we receive growing up.

For HSPs it sounds like “ don’t be such a crybaby”,  and “don’t be so sensitive” or even “why do you overreact like this” and “why are you so neurotic”?

A key aspect of breaking through this core belief “I am not good enough” lies in the journey towards self-acceptance.

When you accept yourself 100% for who you are,  and when you have compassion towards yourself, then it is simply not possible to think that you are not good enough.

HSPs tend to overprocess and overthink things all the time, and this can cause us to go deep into the rabbit hole of thinking that we are not good enough.

2 Unable to let of the past

We hold on to the memories and the emotional and energetic charges of the things that happened to us and that can cause us to not take better care of ourselves.

It could be that at some level, you are afraid that if you let go and move on it makes what happened to you ok.

This is often why we hold on to grudges and why we find it difficult to forgive. 

But, in order to keep this memory of what happened to you in the past alive, you continue to treat yourselves badly.

The inner critic plays a big role in this. You may find that your inner critic is constantly judging you, finding fault with you, and criticizing you.

One of the ways to start healing and letting go of the past is to change the way in which you talk to yourself.

Being more compassionate ties in with the acceptance of the Self.  As you begin to change the way that you speak to yourself, your level of self-acceptance begins to grow.

3 We are afraid of our own feelings

We numb ourselves because we are afraid to feel our feelings.

It’s a lot easier to grab your cell phone and scroll through social media than what it is to spend time with your own thoughts.

Looking for distractions to occupy yourself with than to face your thoughts or feelings is not the solution though.

When we numb the not so good feeling-feelings you’re also numbing the feel good-feelings at the same time.

The result is that we are just suppressing our whole experience of life by numbing our feelings like this.

Consistent self-care struggles the HSP has can be overcome by regularly checking in with yourself.

I especially like working with some questions when I check in with myself.   

Julie Bjelland, who does great work in the HSP community works with 2 questions for when you check in with yourself.   I’m paraphrasing here but they are (1) how am I feeling and (2) what do I need.

You might find it helpful in the beginning to set your alarm on your phone to remind you a couple of times per day to do a check-in. 

As you begin a regular practice of checking in with yourself you’re going to start to develop a better relationship with yourself.

This in turn will support you in creating the necessary lifestyle changes to really do the things that are good for you and to take better care of yourself.

4 Having poor boundaries

The fourth challenge that HSPs have when it comes to creating regular self-care for ourselves is that we tend to have poor boundaries.

HSPs want to be there for others, and do things for them.  

We don’t want to disappoint people but we also don’t want to be rejected.  So this means that there is a tendency to rather fully show up for other people and less for ourselves.

It’s a good idea here to start looking at strengthening your boundaries.

Learn how to say no.  As the saying goes, no is a full sentence!

If just the thought of saying no is already filling you with trepidation, then it tells you that there’s some healing to be done around your fear of disappointing people or maybe even your fear of getting into trouble by speaking your truth and standing up for yourself through saying no.

5 We think self-care is selfish

HSPs really want to do good in the world and we want to be helpful.

This can lead us to thinking that it’s not okay for us to take time for ourselves.

It is a faulty way of thinking that if you take time for yourself, then you are taking time away from someone else.

The truth is, when you are frazzled, irritable, and stretched too thin, you need others to pick up the pieces.  By neglecting your own wellbeing, you are actually being more selfish!

Begin to look at the beliefs you have that make you think that taking care of yourself is being selfish.

What messages did you receive in your home growing up around self-care, selfishness, and being there for other people?

When you explore these beliefs you uncover you can begin to dismantle them.

Putting your own oxygen mask on first is a necessity if you want to be there more for the other people in your life!  

Self-care struggles of highly sensitive people (HSP)

If you have been struggling with taking better care of yourself,  you might find it helpful to work with any underlying challenges and subconscious blocks that you may have.  

Highly sensitive people are already prone to be overwhelmed because of the way that we process information. Also, as we strongly perceive all the subtleties in our environment we can become overstimulated easily.

That’s why it’s so important that we do whatever we can to take care of ourselves and I really hope that this post has given you some insight, and ideas to improve that in your own life by making self-care a routine.

SELF LOVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP) AND EMPATH

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Self love is a great gift you can give yourself. It doesn’t always come easy for highly sensitive people and empaths because we often get accused of being overly sensitive. These affirmations will help you with your question of how to love my sensitive nature. Build your confidence and self worth through these healing self love affirmations for sensitives. You can continue the journey of how to love yourself as a hsp or empath by listening to these self love affirmations daily.