Tertia Riegler

Feminine Embodiment Coach

habits

13 Ways To Love Your Authentic Self More And Embrace Who You Are

True personal power comes from embracing your authentic self.

It’s what allows you to tend to your fierceness and offer yourself to the world as you are

You know your bumpy spots and sticky points, and you love yourself in all of that.

Your fear of being negatively judged by others can stop you from being yourself.  

So you make yourself more palatable, you do the “right and expected” things, in order to be  accepted instead of judged.

It can feel like you always hiding behind a mask, so far away from embracing your authentic self.

Living like this will leave you feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied and even empty. Speaking from personal experience here!

They say only about 5% of your thoughts are new and original thoughts. 

This means that at least 95% of you is habitual thinking playing out in autopilot mode.

It’s super efficient to not reinvent the wheel every time, but it also means that often we are not living our lives consciously and with intention.  

Getting out of autopilot mode can be uncomfortable and even challenging, but this is the way to live a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

It’s the most direct and sure answer that I know of to become more of your authentic self.  

Often we have this misconstrued idea that if we are hard enough on ourselves, then it would help us to be better and perform better. 

And the opposite is actually true.

When you habitually speak to yourself unkindly, you activate your nervous system and go into what I call survival mode.  

And the other most direct and sure thing that I know is that in survival mode, it is really hard to tap into your own truth and authenticity.

How To Embrace and Love Your Authentic Self

In this episode I share with you 13 ways in which you can stop hiding your true self and learn self love and self worth, so you can embrace your authentic self . 

These are things that will transform the relationship that you have with yourself which will help you to believe in yourself and be more confident in life.

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

How To Embody Your Self-Worth, Feel More Confident And Overcome Self-Doubt

Self-doubt and insecurity often stand in the way of personal fulfilment and believing in yourself.

When you have confidence in yourself you can finally start speaking up for your needs, stick to your resolutions and trust your decisions. 

A big barrier that many women have is they think that they need to fix certain things about themselves first before they can have the confidence to be themselves, (I use to believe this too!).  

Of course, it is not true.  You are not broken. There is nothing about you that needs to be fixed. 

But this is how our minds can work against us.

We have a habitual way of being, and we have all of these patterns that are an automatic replay.  It is part of the wonderful efficiency of our brains, and it just makes it easier for us to get on in the world.

And now of course, if this pattern or this narrative is one that’s supporting you, then that’s great. But the truth is, for so many of us, this habitual way of being which feeds our thinking can work against us in so many different areas of our life. 

Whether it’s at work where you don’t want to speak up for yourself, whether it’s in a relationship, where you keep on attracting the same people, or whether it is you trying to change your lifestyle, but you always go back to your old ways of being. 

3 Keys To Overcome Self Doubt 

So this is the obvious question then, how to create a new habitual way of being that eliminates self-doubt? 

It starts with the belief that it is possible even for you to cultivate a deep sense of your own self worth and the confidence that comes as a result of that. 

In this video on confidence tips for women,  I share with you 3 keys to overcome self doubt, and I take you through a model that I use with my clients and also apply in my own life which will help you have more confidence and self esteem, and create personal freedom within. 

I speak about

  • Creating a new narrative
  • You don’t need external validation
  • Getting to know yourself and your triggers

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

Unexpected Ways To Build Your Inner Confidence

Growing your inner confidence and self esteem is the medicine for women who seem confident to the outside world, but who are secretly plagued with self-doubt.  

It is so normal for us to struggle with self-doubt. Everybody experiences self-doubt at some point in their lives. 

It’s a problem though when your self-doubt and self-judgment stop you from believing in yourself.  You need to grow your inner confidence and self-esteem if this is the case so that you can go after your dreams, and speak up for yourself.

You may think that self-doubt is only a thought process, but here’s the thing.  Your thoughts can be felt in your body.  And when that voice of self-doubt rears its nasty little head, your nervous system gets activated.

Highly sensitive people have sensitive nervous systems.  This means that their nervous system gets activated and triggered more easily than people who are not highly sensitive. And now when you combine this with your nervous system which also gets activated when you experience self-doubt, it’s easy to see why it can feel like you are freezing up, and why the experience keeps you stuck.

To build your inner confidence and self-esteem, you need to start by making the decision to reclaim yourself and reclaim your own worth.

Unexpected Ways To Build Your Inner Confidence

This is what true inner confidence is: to stand firmly in your own corner.  To reclaim those parts of you that you have been taught are not lovable, whether that was through your cultural conditioning or your family system.

Fully loving and accepting yourself will allow you to flourish in all areas of your life, so you can show up fully self-expressed and self-sovereign.

In this episode, you will learn

  • Meet self-doubt where it lives in your body. 
  • Don’t believe everything that you think. 
  • Release the good girl and connect with your wild woman. 
  • Follow the path of reclamation and liberation
  • Be with your desires before taking action.

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

Morning Habits To Nurture Your Feminine Energy

You may be surprised to know that you can use morning habits to nurture your feminine energy.

Traditional morning routine methods are very goal and action-oriented, and that is not the way of the feminine at all!

I used to think that a very productive morning routine was the only way to go, but I have since learned that we benefit much more when we work with both our masculine and feminine energies.

The ways that I use my masculine and feminine energy is through structure and flow.

We need structure (think amount of time allocated ) and flow (think content, ie. what happens during this time) as important ingredients as part of our feminine energy morning routine that feel good.

A morning routine is important.

The way that we first start our day is going to affect the way that our day unfolds.

And when we can start our day with space, and a sense of ease, and possibility it’s going flow into the rest of your day.

Compare that to a day where you tumble out of bed and you stress because you’re running late after smashing the snooze button too many times.

You will go through the day feeling frazzled and disconnected.

The feminine energy morning routine will allow more flow and ease into your day.

Morning Habits To Nurture Your Feminine Energy

In this video, I offer you a way to start your morning, that is less stressful and less driving, and more flowing, and creates a sense of spaciousness and ease.

You will learn

  • How to use the principle of structure and flow
  • How to create a sense of space within
  • How tapping into your physical sense supports your feminine energy

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

5 Positive Habits Every Highly Sensitive Person (Hsp) Needs!

Developing positive habits as a highly sensitive person (HSP) will empower you and support you to fully access your abilities and strength as a highly sensitive person. 

If you’re a highly sensitive person then you’ll know that you experience the world a lot differently than most people.

Highly sensitive people make up only about 20% of the population.

Because we are in the minority it’s so important for us to develop rituals and practices that can help us deal with the overstimulation and the overwhelm that we experience from interacting with the rest of the world.

I found out that I was a highly sensitive person about five years ago.

During this time I was feeling really overwhelmed with everything in my life and I started looking for answers.

I was a new mother, it felt as if there were just so many things affecting me, and I was tired all the time.

I felt overstimulated and it sometimes even felt like my skin was on fire because my nerve endings were running all the time!

When I found out about the research that was done by Dr. Elaine Aron on high sensitivity it was a huge light bulb moment for me.

On the one hand,  I was like oh yes!  I’m not the only one experiencing this and there is nothing wrong with me!

On the other hand I was disappointed.  I thought, ok, so this is how my brain has been wired and I can’t change this.  

However, I began to experiment with different practices and habits to really support me at this time.

These positive habits have since become integral to my life,  and I think that any highly sensitive person will benefit from them.

HSPs Deeply Process Information

Highly sensitive people get overwhelmed and overstimulated because of the level at which we process information.  

For example, if we go to a party, we don’t only take in all of the information, and sights and sounds, but when we leave, we sort of take the party with us.

We continue to engage in it energetically even though we aren’t at the party anymore…

Continue watching video

FINISH WHAT YOU START – HOW TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT

Are you someone who easily starts on a new project but you often find it difficult to finish what you start?

Most of us aren’t short on great ideas – going back to school, getting the basement redecorated, starting a business, getting fit.

But then life sort of happens and we leave unfinished projects in our wake, only to feel bad that we can never seem to reach some sort of an end.

It’s easy to feel demotivated when your mind is working against you, and that makes it even harder to finish what you start.  

Especially when you then start comparing yourself to other people.  

It happened to me this week. I’ve been diving into personal development blogs and looking at what the *big* guys are doing.

I started feeling insignificant.   As if what I have to say doesn’t matter.  

It looked so tempting to just give up.

But we can’t live like that.

Even when we feel as if we are insignificant, or we don’t have the right words, or we’ve never run a mile, or cooked a healthy meal before, we still owe it to ourselves to give it a shot.

And that got me thinking:  I pretty much design my life every morning.  We all do, whether it is a conscious act, or whether it is through our habitual thoughts and automatic patterns.

So then, how can we design our lives to stay motivated and finish what we start?

There is no short answer, but a good place to start is to know your personal values and live in alignment with them.  That means to make sure that all your decisions honor your core values, and what is important to you.

Don’t expect something from yourself which is not authentic to who you are.  

So, how do we finish what we start?

It’s fun to start new things.

But typically it follows a certain process.

  1. You get all excited about your new project
  2. There are lots of things to think about, research, buy, build or change and this keeps you in motion.
  3. Then once the foundation is in place, the upkeep comes.

It’s heady to get caught up in the excitement of creating things.

You are enthusiastic about setting yourself up. You get carried away imagining how great it’s going to be.

But after a while, you lose momentum. Daily upkeep becomes boring and you start thinking of (totally-valid-in-your-mind-anyway) reasons why this wasn’t such a cool idea.

Maybe you lose faith in your own ability to succeed when the newness wears off, and reality sets in.

You lose sight of what it is that you are actually trying to do here.

And usually, that’s when you start comparing your results or efforts to that of others.  

You start telling yourself that what you are doing doesn’t actually make a difference, or it is not really so good and therefore you are wasting your time.  

So you shove it under the carpet and go after the next shiny object.

Imagine this. You want to run a marathon.

So reality hits and here comes the slog of having to run every day for 2 miles.  Pretty soon you stop enjoying your cute pair of running shorts.  Your running shoes don’t make you feel so fast anymore.

One day you find an excuse for why you don’t need to run today.  Then, 2 days later, another excuse. And again and again. Until finally, you find your shoes 4 months later, shoved into the back of the closet with only a few sad cobwebs for company.

See the big problem here?

You become focused externally and you forget WHY you actually started in the first place.

If you understand why this happens to you (and that it most likely will), it makes it easier to take care of your behaviors and habits and change your outcomes.

Remind yourself what it is that you are trying to do here.  That is why setting goals and looking at them again and again, is what will help you finish what you start.

Remember, the answer to sustained changed is to take continuous small actions.

That is why you need to set goals for yourself.

This way, you know what it is that you want (need) to do.  Give yourself a deadline too. Without deadlines, we don’t have a sense of urgency to push us into action.

Warning: Instead of creating the biggest-damn-ass-goal that you can possibly think of and stopping there, rather create a smaller goal that will get you to your ultimate BIG GOAL.

Why?

So that you don’t freak yourself out by going after something which is completely outside of your domain of power of where you are *right now*.

This then is the process I suggest:

  1. Set small goals
  2. Commit to your new project and remind yourself what you are trying to achieve
  3. Continuously review how you have done so far, and see where you can do better / save time / be more efficient

Little steps.

Let’s go back to the example of running.  

Big Goal:  Run a half marathon

Small goal: get cute running gear and commit to an initial running schedule.

Then, once the glamour of the new outfit and super fast shoes wears off, and you’ve been keeping up with you 2 days running a week, you move onto a new goal that you set within the overall goal.  

  • Add 1 more day to your weekly running schedule.
  • Shave 30 seconds of your existing time.  
  • Add another 2 miles to your distance.

You get the picture.  Now you are starting to challenge yourself.  This is what keeps you motivated and inspired.

A huge reason why we don’t finish what we start is because we go too big too soon.

When I started doing yoga 18 months ago, I didn’t decide I was going to do yoga every day for the rest of my life.  Talk about overwhelming.

Instead, I decided to do yoga 2 days a week to start off with, and with only a few poses at that.  I then gradually increased the number of poses in my workout, and the number of days.

After about 2 months I build up to a 20-minute sequence which I now do daily, without even thinking about whether I should.  It has become a habit and part of my morning routine.

What if your goals change?

It happens that we start a project or follow a new interest, only to realize after a while that we really don’t want that.

Your personal values will determine whether you push through for the sake of finishing, or whether you stop and go into a new direction.

But a point to mention here is that we should never take our commitment to ourselves lightly.

Even if you do find that your priorities have changed, if you practice the habit to finish what you start, rather than abandoning projects willy-nilly it will help improve your life in incremental ways.