Struggling to let go is something that we all know about. Letting go is hard, but when you understand the reasons why we hold on, letting go becomes easier.
In this video you will learn about why letting go is hard, and I share with you what I believe is the secret to how to really let go and move on, and how to release resistance and let go of attachment. Letting go is easy when you know this!
Prefer to read instead? Here is the transcript.
Why is it so hard for us to let things go? Why do we insist on holding onto our past or holding onto the things that happened to us? Why do we keep on hurting ourselves? Because the thing is, if you insist on holding on, if you insist on being attached, the person that is hurting the most is you. So in this video, I want to share with you four of the reasons, I think it’s so hard for us to let go. If you’re new to my channel, my name is Tertia. And on this channel, I show you how to use your inner power and the universal laws to transform your life. Letting go is probably one of the more challenging things that we ever experience as humans. For some reason, we always hold onto the things that have caused us pain and the things that hurt us in the past. We find it very difficult to surrender. We resist surrendering and allowing things to be the way that they are. If you’re playing with manifesting things, we are really attached to the outcomes it’s very difficult for us to detach and to let go. And I think that there are four reasons, there’s probably more, but I want to share with you four reasons why I think it’s so difficult for us to let go. The first reason why I think it’s really hard for us to let go is because we don’t change our paradigms. We don’t change our thinking. And I made a video about this last week, which I’ll link for you in the description below, you can also find it in the link up here, where I talk about our brain and about the paradigms that we have. So we keep on thinking the same thoughts and so we keep on having the same actions. We keep on having the same results and very rarely do we challenge or question our own thoughts. So in effect, you keep on reliving your past because you are living as your past self. Okay? That’s what happens when we don’t question our own thoughts, when we don’t examine our own framework or our paradigms. The second reason why it’s so difficult for us to let go is because we have these unwritten rules about the world and about people. We have these expectations about how things should be. And when people fail us, when they don’t behave in accordance to what we think their behavior should be, if they don’t conform to our expectations, we feel violated and we take it personally. And the problem is it puts you in a bad state, right? So now you’re going into a state of lower vibration. You’re going into a state of anger or judgment or resentment. And what are you creating from the state? If this is the energy that you’re operating from you can think for yourself, what is it that you’re going to attract into your life? How are the conversations going to be? What is going to be your general attitude? Your mental filter with which you engage with the world? So by beginning to examine our expectations, we allow ourselves to release some of these pressures that we put ourselves under, because you’re putting yourself under pressure to try and change people, to be what you expect of them to be. If you want people to behave in a certain way, to talk in a certain way, to live in a certain way, if they don’t conform to your rules, you’re putting pressure on yourself to get them to conform. It’s a lot less hard work to just let it go. The third reason why we struggle to let go is because we form an attachment. We are afraid. So it’s being driven by fear, we are afraid that things aren’t going to be how we want them to be. We not going to get the outcome that we want and so we try and control this. And we think that through controlling this, we are going to influence the outcome and the result. And I can just think of myself in a story that I can share with you. When I first started taking my YouTube channel seriously, I was so attached to how many subscribers I got and how many views I got and how many comments I got that I became obsessed with this. And I felt like every single comment and every single view was a reflection of my self-worth. I was afraid that if people weren’t watching my videos and if people weren’t subscribing, then it would mean that I was a failure. And then one day I just realized, you know what? I don’t like how I’m spending my energy on this obsession about the YouTube channel. My YouTube channel will grow. People are watching it, and I know that I’m changing lives. So just let it go. Stop obsessing and stressing about it and that’s what I did. So we hold on to things we don’t want to let go, because we are afraid that if we don’t control it, it’s going to reflect badly on us. And then the fourth reason why it’s so difficult for us to let go is because the brain tends to remember only the good things. So often our brain has these rose colored memories, we only remember things in a certain way. And the more we think about this thing that we are missing, this thing that we are longing for, this thing that we are unable to let go of, the prettier the picture is that our brain begins to paint of this memory. This explains why it’s difficult for us to let go of a relationship. When your relationship didn’t work out, your brain only remembers the good times and you might not realize it, but think about it. How often do you talk back about the good old days? The days when things were done like this, but what we don’t think about is even in those days, you weren’t 100% happy with what was happening right then. You remembered the days before that. So if you realize that your brain makes up these pictures, then it also becomes easier for you to engage in the idea of letting go. So now I want to share with you, the secret that I believe is the only way to let go and that is letting go is a decision. It is a decision that you take, letting go is an action. If you take the conscious decision to let go of those things that are only causing hurt in your life, if you take conscious decision to detach yourself from the goals and taking action and working towards the goals, without obsessing about whether the results are what you want them to be, then you’ll find that things begin to play out in your life, in the way that supports you most for your highest good. So if you’ve made the decision to let go, if you’ve taken this action, there’s a little bit more work, it’s required of you to go within. It’s required of you to fill those voids that are created by our experiences and by our losses not by looking for something on the outside to fill us, but you have to fill it from within. You have to do the inner work. We have to heal the wounds that caused us to want to control things to be in a certain way. We have to accept that people won’t always behave in the way that we expect them to. And if you can let go of the expectation, it’s also going to affect the way in which you experience your interactions with the things that happen to you. When you learn to let go, like this, the fear begins to release you. Okay, and it’s not a single event, it’s not something that you do and then it’s over and done with. It’s an action that you are always going to have to apply. We have to be open to letting go. Sure, if you have created the habit of letting go, it becomes easier. You don’t have to expend much energy or effort in letting go. When you’re still at the beginning stages and you’ve got a lot of stuff that you’re holding onto that you’re ready to release, it does take a little bit more effort. But know that it’s something that you carry with you, it’s like going to the gym. You can’t go to the gym once, do a workout and then you’re set for life. You’re always working out. The same thing with inner work and transformation. You’re always doing some inner work because there’s always a new layer to uncover. There’s always a newer aspect of yourself to discover and to explore. So hope that you found this video helpful on learning to let go and the reasons why it’s so hard for us to let go. If you did, then let me know by giving me your thoughts, share your thoughts with me in the comments below. Also give this video a thumbs up, it really helps me to get my videos and work out to more people on YouTube. So I’ll appreciate it if you can engage a little bit with this video, subscribe if you still haven’t done so. I’d love for you to join our community and then as always, thanks for watching and I’ll see you in the next video. Bye.