Habits to help you feel happier even when you are anxious or sad

I don’t know when I first became aware of the black sad hole that exists inside me. It has been a constant companion to me for as long as I can remember.

It has directed my life to a large extent and set me on the path to self-development and personal growth.

Over the years I have developed habits to help me feel happier even when I am anxious or sad, but this was not always the case.

I felt as if I had won the jackpot in my 20’s, when I attended a personal development course arranged by the company that I worked for at the time.

Up until that point, my life was very externally focused. Everything that happened to me, where I was in my life and my experiences, I attributed to external events.

I felt powerless and even worse than that, I didn’t KNOW that I actually had any power to change anything in my life, or myself.

This course I attended was the start. It opened my world which now became filled with possibility, and my journey to step outside of my jail of sadness and not-lovable took off.

Everyone just wants to be happy

It is probably the one thing that we all have in common.

All our actions are driving us to fulfill that need for happiness. We yearn for acceptance, recognition, and status.

Happiness is not tangible. It is not physical, nor can it be bought. Sadly we often walk around with unhappiness couped up inside our hearts. Our minds look into the world and we see what we don’t have and what we are missing out on.

We live our lives on a when-I basis. When I have x I will be happy. When I lose the weight…When I have a different job…When I have other clothes…When I have a bigger TV…

What this basically means is that whether we feel happy or unhappy in our lives comes mostly from how we perceive our lives to be. 

And it is the response that we have and the reactions we choose from the events that happen to us, that leaves us feeling empowered or not.

A new perspective

I have traveled far in my own journey, and I still have a ways to go.

Self-development and personal transformation never stop. It evolves. For each layer that you peel back, another is exposed.

Something else to resolve, to dissolve, to allow and to surrender to.

I still have the sad hole inside of me, I don’t know if it will ever go away. But mostly it is asleep now.

However, if I go out of balance in my life, or if I don’t practice self-care, it wakes up.

So I have developed a few habits over the years to keep the beast asleep as best as I can.

Habits to feel happier when you are anxious or sad

1. Practice self-care

The self-care I am talking about here isn’t really about taking bubble baths or going for a relaxing massage.

It is about going inside and connecting with yourself on a deeper level. Become aware of your own feelings, and emotions.

Allow them to come to light rather than suppressing and avoiding them. Surrender to what you feeling, instead of resisting.

I have found in my own life, that when I surrender to what is, often the negative feelings and emotions which I have, dissolve or become diluted and less powerful at least.

Create a “me-time” slot in your day where you can connect with yourself. You can’t take care of others unless you have taken good enough care of yourself first.

2. Live a well-balanced life

A well-balanced life looks different for different people. 

The way to determine what your balanced life looks like is to decide what your priorities are, to ensure that they are aligned with your values and then living your life according to that guidance.

We are all in different seasons of our lives, and those different seasons have different requirements.

Accept that you will not have a perfectly well-balanced life 100% of the time (because that would make you a robot with no feelings or responsibilities).

But if you know what balance looks like for you, it is possible to always go back there when life happens with its disruptions and surprises.

Part of having balance is to have clear boundaries. We give away our power when we don’t have boundaries.

Our need for approval is often responsible for our lack of boundaries. And as a result, we become resentful because we feel that people are taking advantage of us.

Take a look at your own life. Is there anywhere that you can put up boundaries to stop your personal power from siphoning away?

3. Live in the now

It is easy to get lost in your head. You think about the future, and about the past.

I tend to overthink things. I am also a Highly Sensitive Person. A coping mechanism that has helped me tremendously, is to bring myself into the present moment.

One way of doing this is to become more mindful. Amplify your experience through your senses. Focus on what you hear, taste, smell, see and feel.

Another way is to use your breathing to bring you into the present moment. Your mind is unable to hold two thoughts at the same time. By focusing on a single breath you can create a single moment of being in the now.

4. Declutter what you no longer need

Get rid of the stuff that doesn’t serve you anymore. 

These things which don’t serve you can be both physical or emotional possessions. Sorting through and releasing these possessions does require courage, but the liberation you experience will lift your energy and your mood.

Give away, sell or burn the physical possessions you no longer need. 

Emotional baggage could take a bit longer, but start small and choose to release old hurts, resentments, and feelings of helplessness.

The power lies within you

On the days when you wake up and the beast awakes with you, it is difficult to remember you also have the power within you.

Practicing self-care, making sure your life is balanced, living in the present moment and decluttering both your physical and mental world is not the answer to curing depression, I know.

But these habits help me feel happier even when I’m anxious and sad, and it is my hope that by bringing them into your life, they can help you too.