Tertia Riegler

Feminine Embodiment Coach

Living with Intention

HOW TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE AFTER 40 

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It seems to be the norm to speak of a midlife crisis, but I am choosing to call it a midlife liberation.

This is the phase in our life when our inner wild woman, our untamed nature awakens.  She calls on us to get closer to our authentic selves and to live in self-expression of our truth.

This truth can be many things.  Your truth may be around the boundaries that you hold and what you are no longer available for.  It may have to do with your dreams and desires, ready to unfold after being pushed to the side for too long.   It could also have to do with how you express yourself through your personal style.

In this episode, you will learn about one of the key things which I believe is truly important to master when our inner wild woman calls, so that we can orient to a new way of being, and step into the possibility of living our best life after 40.

How to live your best life after 40

I’m sharing:

  • Why a midlife crisis is actually a midlife liberation
  • The truth that your inner wild woman calls for
  • How to stoke the fire of your inner wild woman through your habits
  • Are your habits supporting your nervous system?

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.  

HUMAN DESIGN AND FOLLOWING THE AUTHORITY OF THE BODY WITH BERDINE BRONKHORST

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Human Design

This is a fascinating concept of getting to know your conscious and unconscious aspects and so align yourself with your unique expression in the world.  

It gives you insight into how to bring more flow to your life and harness your energy to help you thrive, through experimenting with practices that work best for your energy type. 

Living in this way is something that most of us desire.  

On the podcast this week I’m joined by CliftonStrengths Coach and Ascend Human Design Reader, Berdine Bronkhorst to talk about the experiment of Human Design.  

In the podcast, we explore:

  • The visceral experience that showed Berdine the path of Human Design is meant for her
  • Moving from the view that the mind is in charge to following our bodies as our authority
  • The cues of being out of alignment with our Human Design energy
  • Why Human Design is different from personality and aptitude tests
  • Suggestions that Berdine uses with her clients to apply Human Design to your life

About Berdine Bronkhorst

Berdine Bronkhorst is a CliftonStrengths Coach and Ascend Human Design Reader who works with women who feel stuck to guide them to align with their soul’s purpose.  She offers both business and personal coaching and runs a group program called Women of Strength.

Find her at:

Website : https://www.berdinebronkhorst.co.za

IG: https://www.instagram.com/berdine_bronkhorst/

Berdine’s favourite books:

  • Women who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D.
  • The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
  • Animal Spirit Guides by Steven D. Famer, Ph.D.

FINDING WHOLENESS THROUGH SELF-INTIMACY

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What would your life look like if you celebrated and accepted all parts of yourself? How would this affect the way that you showed up?

How would this affect the way that you related to people in your life, and how would this affect the way that you related to yourself?

Something that I see often in the self-development industry is this idea of a quick fix. You identify the problem, you apply a solution and you solve it. And that’s really a reflection of what the world looks like, and how the world operates. It’s very linear and it moves a straight line from point A to point B. It is focused on finding solutions and solving problems.

It breeds in us a narrative of “I can only love myself once X has happened”.  It causes us to distract ourselves from our own truth.  We become numb to the rich inner world alive within us.  This inner world is our inner guidance system. It is the truth of us.  It is the seat of our pleasure and our passions.  

In this episode, I explore how we get back to our inner world by finding wholeness through self-intimacy.  This is the 2nd pillar in my series on how to flourish and live from inner freedom and aliveness.

Finding Wholeness Through Self-Intimacy

In today’s episode I’m sharing:

  • What I see as self-intimacy
  • How our shadows are our secrets
  • Reparenting your wounded inner girl
  • Clearing limiting beliefs around your self-worth

Resources and links mentioned:

Other episodes in this series:

  1. How To Cultivate Inner Emotional Safety 

Join my newsletter and receive a free embodied self-love meditation https://www.tertiariegler.com/self-love-meditation/ 

How To Start Living From Inner Freedom And Feel More Fully Alive

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Finding pleasurable moments in everyday life is a big part of having inner freedom and living fully alive.  Life has many flavors and layers, and I believe that part of our purpose here on earth, is to experience the exquisiteness of it all.  

But, it can be challenging to step into this space of becoming deeply connected to yourself and your life force energy.  Our culture certainly doesn’t make things easier.  Getting caught up in a vortex of self-shaming makes it almost impossible to live as our true selves.  

We have to be deliberate in changing our habits and conditioned responses so that we can live in a way where we honor ourselves, where we make space for everyday pleasure and have access to our rich inner world. 

In today’s episode I’m sharing:

  • My definition of living a life of inner freedom and aliveness 
  • Why it is so essential to be in integrity with yourself
  • How the habit of avoiding undesirable feelings and pain causes us to become numb
  • 3 Reasons why it’s hard to live as our true, authentic selves
  • The 4 key principles that are foundational to us living from a place of inner freedom and aliveness. 

Resources and Episodes Mentioned:

From Feeling Numb To Living Untamed And Embodied: My Journey Of Coming Home To Myself 

Prefer reading instead? Here is the transcript.

How To Start Living From Inner Freedom And Feel More Fully Alive

Hello and welcome to today’s show. So, we have a small stream that runs through our backyard and something that I love doing is I love making myself a cup of tea and sitting next to the stream, just listening to the sound of the birds in the trees. I kick my shoes off and I feel my feet in the grass. Sometimes I get bitten by ants, but mostly it’s a very pleasurable experience. And a few days ago I was sitting next to the stream, reflecting a little bit on and thinking and feeling into some of the things that I wanted to share and I realized how different my workday is now to what it used to be when I first started working. So in the very first few years of starting my business, I was so disciplined and focused and there was no space for pleasure during my working hours.

And today it’s one of the first things that I focus on doing:  how can I bring pleasure into my workday today? So I was thinking about this while I was sitting there next to the little stream. And what I realized is this, this ability to allow myself to bring pleasure into my day, that to me, is part of what it means to have inner freedom and aliveness. And I want to talk a little bit more about that on today’s show. 

Hi, and welcome to the untamed and embodied show. I’m your host Tertia Riegler, feminine embodiment coach, and here to help you cultivate a life of radiance, everyday pleasure and unapologetic self-expression. Join me every week as I share how you can tap into your feminine flow so you can come home to yourself and live your life from a place of inner freedom and aliveness.

So before we dive into how you too can begin to cultivate a life of inner freedom and aliveness, where there is space for pleasure and ease, let’s just take a moment to dip into the body here. So join me in taking a breath and just feel into how are you doing today? How is your body feeling today and what do you need to feel a bit more pleasure in your day? What can you do for yourself? Or what can you give to yourself so that you can have, or feel more pleasure today? 

What I feel when, when I dip into my body like this, is a desire for crunchy food. So for lunchtime, after I’ve done this recording for lunch, I’ll make myself a nice, crunchy, fresh salad. That’s what I feel like. I think that’s going to give me a big amount of pleasure. 

So in this episode where we are going to be talking about cultivating a life of inner freedom and aliveness, what I’d love to do is take you through my definition of what inner freedom and aliveness means to me. And then I also want to look at a few of the barriers that stand in the way of us really opening ourselves up to feeling more alive and living more fully. And then finally, I’d also love to share with you four key principles that I feel really is foundational to us beginning to live from a place of freedom and aliveness. 

So to me, living from a place of inner freedom and aliveness means that you are in integrity with yourself. You are living in full integrity. And I often think about this as a bucket. So when you honor, what is true for you when you are in integrity, imagine that you have a bucket. And when we dishonor ourselves, when we don’t speak up for our own needs, when we deny and suppress what is going on in our internal world, it’s as if we are punching holes in this bucket and our life force energy, our potential and our aliveness, which is contained in this bucket, as we are punching holes in the bucket, it starts to leak out.

So when we are not in integrity with ourselves, when we don’t honor ourselves, when we aren’t present to our full spectrum of feelings, we are effectively leaking out our own life force energy. And of course, this is not conscious, and there are many contexts and situations that, that cause us to show up in this way. And that’s some of the things that we are going get into in this episode. So just getting back now to the full spectrum of feelings: now in episode one, I shared with you a little bit of my journey, and if you haven’t listened to episode one yet, then you can go and take a listen to that. I’ll put, I’ll put a link in the show notes to that. So I was what I would call the queen of suppression and denial. And I really avoided feeling my own pain.

And yes, I know that I am not unique in this. This is something that is so common. We avoid pain. We don’t want to feel these uncomfortable and undesirable feelings. So we distract ourselves with social media. We distract ourselves with food. We distract ourselves by over-tending and overgiving to the people in our lives, or we overwork. So we keep ourselves busy so that we don’t have to go inside and feel what is here. We also deny that anything is wrong and we suppress these feelings and in the process we become numb. This is what happened with me. 

And, and a small example of how we avoid feeling pain is when you receive some upsetting news, for example, and you don’t allow yourself to feel it. So you receive upsetting news, something that disturbs you and immediately you want to take action. How can I fix this? How can I solve this? How can I make it better? How can I improve this? 

And we skip the little bit in the middle, which is being present to the full spectrum of feelings, even the painful ones. Now, what happens is if we suppress our feelings on the one end, the uncomfortable undesirable, painful feelings and emotions, unfortunately, we also suppress feeling the more pleasurable, desirable, enjoyable alivening feelings. And when you are feeling numb, when you are dried up, essentially from the inside, out like this, there is no sense of inner freedom. There is no sense of aliveness. Now at this point, I also just want to say that being or living from this point of inner freedom and aliveness does not mean that you are happy all the time. And in fact, if, if anybody promises to you eternal happiness, if you follow their three-step process, then you have to run away.

I see that life has so many flavors and layers. And part of the reason that we are here is to experience the exquisiteness of it all. So being free and being fully alive does not mean that I’m going to be happy all the time, but it does mean that I am honoring what is true to me. I am in integrity with myself. I’m honest about my own feelings and experiences. And I show up in the way, which is the truest version of myself. And in that space, I allow in pleasure. I open myself up to receiving. I begin to magnetize into my life, all of my desires, and I come into alignment with the experiences and the people and the situations that, that resonate with who I am being. 

Alright, so let’s take a look now at why is it so difficult for us to live as this fully alive version of ourselves? And to me, I would say, I really see that there are three main reasons.

 And the first reason is the fear that so many of us have that we are not enough. And then the counter to that, that we are too much. So we fear that we are not enough, but we also fear that we are too much. And both of these cause us to play small. So the underlying thought here is that there is something wrong with me. And so I need to hide this “flaw”. I need to pretend, and I need to not let anyone see. I need to protect this secret.  I can’t let anybody see the real me because there is something wrong with me. 

So how this effectively then shows up in our lives is that you may find that you have a very harsh inner critic that is constantly judging you. That is constantly giving orders. That is constantly reprimanding you.  I do believe that our inner critic is part of our moral compass. And it does serve the purpose of keeping us safe. But this inner critic can get out of hand. It can become overactive where it begins to run your life. And it sabotages you because it continues to make you believe that you are not good enough. That you need to hold yourself back, that you need to keep yourself in line so that you don’t get perceived as too much. 

And you keep on putting yourself down all the time. You keep on apologizing for what you are feeling or thinking. And ultimately you are dismissing yourself. You are dismissing your own worth. And we dim our own lights. We don’t want others to feel uncomfortable around us. We don’t want others to feel bad.

We dismiss compliments, or we counter them with negative remarks. And these are all small ways in which this fear of not being enough or this fear of being too much, how this shows up. 

Now, the second reason that we find it so difficult to live fully alive is because we are so afraid about what others will think of us. We care so much about the opinion of others, and often we put their opinion above our own. 

And you may recognize this as continuing to replay conversations and wishing that you see something different or wondering while you are at work, speaking to your colleagues, wondering the whole time, what are they thinking about me? And are they judging me? Do they have an opinion about what it is that I’m saying? And all of these are things that I’ve experienced in my own life.

So what I’ve learned though, is that often we overestimate how much time other people spend thinking about us. And that’s quite a humbling thought. We don’t really play such a big role in the minds of other people! 

Our ancient survival technique was to stay in the goodwill of the tribe, because it was a very dangerous world out there. If you were to be rejected and in the modern world today, even though we won’t get out thrown to  the sabertooth tigers that are living out in the wilderness, we still value the opinion of others above our own. And this leads to us feeling shame for ourselves. We begin to feel ashamed of ourselves and it can even turn into disliking ourselves. So there’s this cycle of wanting others to like, or approve of us. And in the process, as you come out, wanting others, to like you wanting others to approve of you may seem needy or insecure, and this drives people away.

So it’s the cycle that we find ourselves in. And then ultimately we don’t speak up for ourselves. We don’t express our desires and our needs because we don’t want to rock the boat. We fear putting our relationships in jeopardy. 

And then the third barrier that I see often, and which I believe is really the reason why we don’t live fully alive is what is, what is often called a good girl syndrome. So this is really a stereotype of how we’ve been socialized to please others. And we learn this from the people in our lives. It’s often modeled by the woman in our lives as we are growing up. And so we’ve internalized many of these behaviors to be a good wife, or to be a good mom or a good sister or a good friend. 

You have to behave in a certain way. So you have to be nurturing. You have to be caring. You have to put others first and you dare not do things that can be labeled as being selfish or self-centered. You can’t feel more of the darker emotions. There’s a lot of lightness and pleasantness, but there isn’t space for darkness like anger and rage. So in this, where we don’t want to disappoint others,  effectively it means that we are holding poor boundaries. So if you go back to that bucket, every time that we don’t uphold our own boundaries, we are punching more holes into that bucket, allowing that life force energy to leak out. Also how this shows up is when you change yourself in response to criticism, no matter where it comes from. And I have firsthand experience of that.  When I was much younger, I had a boyfriend and one day he sat me down, there was something about me that bothered him.

And if that conversation happened today, I would tell him he is totally out of line. But back then, when he told me about this, I was so shattered. I was ashamed and I immediately changed so that he would continue to like me. And of course I wasn’t honoring myself. The relationship didn’t work out, but this is often something that happens. 

We become someone else to keep something or to get something. But in the process, we are betraying ourselves. We keep on playing out this underlying barrier or limiting belief of there is something wrong with me. I have to become someone else in order to be loved and to be accepted. So I want to invite you now just to pause for a moment and reflect on how these barriers, these limiting beliefs, these conditionings, how this may be showing up for you. And do you recognize any of these playing out in your life?

Okay. So the question then is how can we move beyond these conditions? 

How can we begin to live in a way where we honor ourselves and where we have access to our inner world? Where we have access and we open ourselves to experiencing this whole range of feelings and sensations that are available to us? And where we can begin then to develop a deep self-trust and a deep knowing of our own worthiness?

We have to be deliberate in changing the habits and the conditioned responses. And this is where embodiment becomes such a powerful tool because when we decide to live more embodied, when we really drop from living predominantly from a thinking level, from a mind level, and we connect more into our bodies, this is a deliberate response. This is a deliberate action. So through being more embodied, this is how we develop that deep self-trust.

This is how we get access to our inner world. And I see that there are four pillars or four conditions that need to be in place for us to successfully navigate this, to successfully get into this place of being open, to pleasure and being more radiant and feeling more fully alive. 

So the first condition that needs to be in place is that of safety. So there are many reasons why we don’t feel safe in our bodies, and we don’t feel safe in ourselves. And to me, as we continue to reject ourselves, when you are really in this habit of not showing up for yourself, betraying yourself, punching holes in those buckets, through the conditioned responses, we continue to feel it’s not safe to be me. 

So the key to start feeling safe is to learn to dip into your body, to learn, to become sensitive to the language of your body, and also to unravel the tensions that are alive in our nervous system.

So each time that we numb ourselves, we’re adding a little bit of resistance and tension into our nervous system, but the thing is, this doesn’t go away. It doesn’t disappear. It continues to sit there and we continue to pack on layer upon layer, and this effectively blocks our energy flow. 

So as we begin to unravel these layers and these tensions that are stuck in the nervous system, we allowing that life force energy to begin to flow, to begin to express ourselves, we start feeling more and we can then build our own safety trust. The more we do of this, the safer we begin to feel within ourselves. And I’ll be talking more about the nervous system and how we can unravel some of these tensions and share some practices with you around that in future episodes. So be sure to keep a, would you say a, ear ou, a lookout for that?

Okay. Moving on to the second pillar, and this is the pillar of self-intimacy. And to me, this means that we are in touch with ourselves. You feel yourself and you feel all of your feelings. I see it as an art. It’s an art of connecting with yourself, being open to everything that you discover in your inner world and holding your discoveries with compassion and with acceptance. II feel that this is how we can begin to show up in the world in full integrity with ourselves, is when we’re cultivating this ability to be intimate with ourselves. And we often only think about intimacy in terms of my ability to be intimate and vulnerable with another person, with someone who I have a relationship with. But I see that before we can even hope to be able to hold intimacy with another being. We have to be able to hold it within ourselves.

And through this intimacy, we begin to develop a solid conviction in our own self-worth. So no longer do we need to attach our value to the things that we do and achieve in the external world. But we feel ourselves to be enough just as we are. 

We use so much energy to push away our undesirable and “shameful parts”, and really in this, this cultivation of the self intimacy, when we are holding ourselves with true and deep reverence for everything that we are, I really see that as patching up the holes in that bucket. 

And part of how we get to this is through the third pillar, which is devotion. So according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, devotion is a deep love or loyalty. And it’s also an act of giving. Giving as in giving effort or time to something. So I see devotion as so crucial in this path of living more fully alive, living from this place of inner freedom and becoming loyal to ourselves.

When we devote to our own inner world, when we devote to our own integrity, when we devote to having compassion for ourselves, the small betrayals that continues to punch holes in that bucket, we begin to release those betrayals. 

Now, just through the course of the day, there can be so many betrayals that happen and they can seem so insignificant, but each little betrayal is a punch in that bucket. And these betrayals can be things like going along with something or someone just to keep the peace, or when you laugh at someone’s joke, just to be polite, even though the joke goes against your values and it goes against what you stand for and what you believe in. 

We also betray ourselves by not giving ourselves recognition or acknowledgment. And this is something that I’m still learning. I’m devoting myself to finding internal recognition and internal acknowledgment instead of looking for it externally.

And for me, it’s a continuous journey. So devotion is really this act of giving your time and your effort to continue to walk the path of feeling, to continue to opening yourself up to experiencing all that is alive in your inner world, and to hold yourself vulnerable, to be honest with yourself, and this leads into living then in alignment, living what you are becoming, which is the fourth pillar. 

So it also means when we are living what we are becoming and living in alignment, it means that we have to release these limiting beliefs about who we are. We have to release the social conditioning that continues to make us show up in certain ways. Living in alignment to me also means that the beliefs that we hold around, how far we should be, or what we should have accomplished by now already, or what our life is supposed to look like, or how we are supposed to feel all those “shoulds”: when we live in alignment and integrity, when we are vulnerable and honest with ourselves, we can also begin to release these should beliefs that continue to break us down. And that continues to feed into the lie of we are not good enough. 

Now, when we live in alignment, it really does take some heavy lifting. So even though it sounds quite easy, you may find that the first person that you need permission from to show up as your true self, to show up as devoting to your inner world and your internal experiences and your felt senses is you need to give yourself permission to begin to show up as that person. 

So here is a question for you. What do you need to give yourself permission to start living from a place of enoughness? What is it that you need so that you can begin to live from there?

So these four pillars of safety, intimacy with yourself, devotion and living in alignment. These are the pillars that the work that I do is based on. And to me, these four things are foundational to live in a way where you can come home to yourself, where you can begin to get to know yourself in a deep and intimate way, and where you don’t need to live your life according to other people’s rules, according to other people’s opinions of yourself. 

But you can really honor your own yes. Your own no.  And you can live in unapologetic self-expression where you speak up for your desires, where you know what your desires are and all of this can come from a place of pleasure and ease. And I want to add to that wholeness, a place of wholeness. 

Okay. Beauty. That’s what I have for you today. And I want to ask you a favor, please, as this is a brand new podcast, I need all the help. I can get to get it out into the world, and you can help me do that by leaving a review, wherever you’re listening to this podcast, when you leave a review, it does something to the algorithm. And so more people will be able to find me to be able to find my work. And I’ll appreciate that so much iIf you could help me out.

SECRETS OF RADIANT & MAGNETIC WOMEN

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Learn about the secrets to being confident, radiant and magnetic in every day life. In this video, we talk about the energy around being a confident woman and locking into your own self-worth.

I share with 4 secrets of radiant and magnetic women and how you can start cultivating that in your own life.

If you prefer to read instead, here is the transcript

Hey everyone and welcome back to another video. In today’s video, we are going to be talking about ways in which you can become a more radiant and magnetic woman. If this is the first time that you’re watching one of my videos then welcome. My name is Tertia, and I’m a feminine embodiment coach. And if you are a regular viewer, then welcome back. So I was having coffee the other day with a friend and we were talking about confidence, what it means to be confident, what it looks like to be confident and often what happens is we, we might tend to think that confidence is only reflected like outside, it’s reflected in the things that I do out there, but confidence comes from within. It’s an inherent feeling and energy that we carry within us. When we are locked into our own self worth, that’s when we can become radiant and magnetic in all areas of our lives.

So it doesn’t matter if you’re wanting to magnetize or have something physical, like a car or a house or a situation like a relationship or a new job, a career, or whether it’s a feeling that you want to magnetize such as feeling more abundant or feeling more resilient. Now, when I think about being radiant or being magnetic, the first thing that comes to mind for me is the ability to experience pleasure. So this is such a deep and sensitive topic. And as I always say in my videos, pleasure, the pleasure that I’m speaking of here is sensual pleasure. It can be sexual pleasure too, but it starts with sensual pleasure. And so often we don’t always get the skills, we don’t always get taught how to be fully in a pleasurable experience with our senses in the body. Now, internally you might experience some resistance to having pleasure, like you feel that you don’t deserve it, or you feel that there’s simply not time.

You’ve got other responsibilities to take care of. And something else that I also see with my clients is that they sometimes see pleasure as inconvenient. I can experience pleasure now, I can do something that that I enjoy, and that really fulfills all my senses, but then I’ve got to clean up afterwards. I’ve got to take time out of my day, which is going to make it more difficult for me to get to all of the things on my to- list or whatever the case may be. So pleasure becomes inconvenience. It becomes like a task that I need to tick off. And really the thing that we need to understand about experiencing pleasure is that that is our feminine birthright. Okay. If we really want to deepen into our feminine energy to access that feminine flow, then experiencing pleasure is one of the doorways into that.

So you can find pockets in your day that you can take a pleasure break. That’s something that I’ve started doing recently. And it’s really wonderful. So I learned it from Bonnie Bliss who’s a pleasure expert, and she’s one of my mentors. And that is like throughout your day, just pause for a moment and do something pleasurable for yourself. So it can either be feeling into your body, feeling into the muscles and just moving your body around a bit. It can be making yourself a cup of tea with intention. So bringing some mindfulness into that, but then allowing yourself to experience it through the senses. It could be just gently giving yourself a hand massage or a foot massage. So really looking for ways throughout the day to increase the pleasure that you are having. And what you’re gonna find is this will begin to build your pleasure capacity so that if you are experiencing these barriers and resistance, because it’s inconvenient or it takes up too much of your time, or you feel that you should first do all of the things that are required from you first finish all of your responsibilities before you can relax into experiencing something pleasurable or relax into doing something that you really enjoy.

When you begin to take these daily pleasure breaks, it’s going to increase your capacity and it’s gonna reduce those barriers. It’s gonna reduce the resistance. Okay. So that’s the first thing that comes to mind. When I think about being a radiant and a magnetic woman, is allowing yourself to experience that pleasure and to let that pleasure then flow out into all other areas of your life. The second thing that I think is gonna be so helpful for you, if you want to start building your radiance and magnetism is to learn that your triggers are gifts. Begin to view your triggers as doorways into deepening into the relationship with yourself. So for us to be truly radiant and magnetic, and to have that full life experience and step into our feminine flow, we have to be connected to our whole selves. We have to connect really into the depths of who we are.

And often we don’t like experiencing those undesirable sensations, those undesirable feelings, but those are actually the key to unlocking your radiance. It’s the key to unlocking your confidence so that you can show up in your most potent powerful, most feminine expression of yourself. So the third thing that I think is going to be so helpful is learning to uphold your boundaries. Now, boundaries here, I’m speaking both of emotional boundaries and our mental boundaries. We really struggle sometimes to uphold those boundaries again, because of the conditioning, because of our cultural situation. And also because of the way that we see ourselves. So your own self worth, your level of self love, your ability to be intimate with your own feelings and your own experiences is going to determine your ability to uphold boundaries. And often what happens with boundaries is if we are not able to uphold them we fluctuate between two ends.

So you either have your boundaries are leaky where you just give in and you overgive, and you sacrifice yourself at the cost of, or on the other hand, you’re very rigid in your boundaries and you stonewall and you don’t let anyone in, but then at the same time, as much as you don’t let anyone in, as much as you don’t allow any intimacy in, you also don’t allow any love and intimacy to go out. Now, one more thing that comes to my mind, if I imagine a radiant and magnetic woman, what comes to mind is that they feel very safe in their bodies. So there are so many things that cause us to not feel safe in our bodies, you know, through growing up again through our culture, through situations and events that might have happened to us. And in order for us to be able to attract into our lives, that what we want, whether it’s a relationship where a healthy relationship where there is good communication and where you feel truly fulfilled, or whether it’s a career path or any kind of life situation where you feel honored, where you’re respected, where you are able to like really show up as your true self and be loved.

You need to be able to feel safe in your own body first. And there are a few ways that you can begin to do this. Obviously, this is one of the things that I work a lot with with my clients, but really for you to begin to venture into feeling safe in the body, to landing into the body, I think what will be helpful for you are things like working on kindness and compassion towards yourself. So really beginning to reparent yourself, this is something that I spoke about in a video around self worth. So I’m going to link that video for you down in the description below. You can go take a look at that.

And something else that I want to add to this is also in order for us to really fully embrace who we are so that we can be confident and radiant, one of the things that we start with is by allowing and accepting all of us. Okay? So this is where some shadow work is going to be really helpful for you, where you can begin to integrate those shameful, shameful parts of ourselves that we suppress. I always speak a lot about the amount of energy that it requires to hide those undesirable aspects of ourselves. So when you start working with integrating all of these aspects of yourself, when you start bringing those shadows into the light, through inner child work, or through shadow work, or through embodiment practices, what’s gonna happen is you freeing up this life force energy, and then you can begin to direct this feminine flow into being more radiant, into being magnetic. And actually I’m saying that wrong. You don’t have to even direct it into being that you’re going to become that, it is going to be a natural result of, of freeing up these inner tensions that we carry inside.

So the bottom line that I want to share with you is that all of us have this ability, we all have this feminine flow, this feminine freedom, this feminine frequency inside of us, we all can be radiant and magnetic and confident and have those situations and peoples and feelings in our lives that we really want. And we can begin to do that by creating the deep, intimate connection with ourselves, by being able to uphold our boundaries by working with our triggers and allowing that to, to kind of guide us into what needs to be seen, what part of me needs to be heard and how can I honor myself in that. So I’d love to know how this video landed for you. Let me know in the comments below, share your thoughts. If you enjoyed it, give it a thumbs up, and then I’ll see you in the next video. Thank you so much for watching. Bye.

3 WAYS TO INVITE THE DIVINE FEMININE  INTO YOUR LIFE 

by

Learn about how you can invite the divine feminine into your life so that you can tap into your feminine life force energy. These divine feminine activities will support you no matter where you are in your feminine spiritual journey.

The abundance of tips and advice available out there is testimony to the Divine Feminine rising in all of us.

https://youtu.be/xG2gDTr7bN0

I talk about 

+radical self-honesty

+embodying the divine

+devotional practices

If you prefer reading instead, here is the transcript

When we invite the divine feminine into our lives, we also invite in self-compassion. We invite in an acceptance of our whole selves. This allows us to stand in full self-expression, where we can show up without any masks, as who we really and truly are. And in this video, I wan to share with you three ways in which you can invite the divine feminine into your life, and it’s going to be really helpful if you want to access that sacred feminine energy. Now, one of the most difficult things must be to be radically honest with yourself. No one likes to be faced with those undesirable aspects of themselves. It’s easier and more comfortable to just suppress or push it away or distract ourselves so that we don’t have to feel or face that. And when we connect into our divine feminine energy, when we want to call the divine feminine into our lives does require of us to become radically honest.

So we are not honest with ourselves every time that we don’t uphold our boundaries. Every time that we wait for someone to rescue us, every time that we suppress and deny our feelings. And every time that we don’t ask for what we need. The reason that we are not honest with ourselves, the reason why we just push through and get to the other side is because it is a very helpful survival strategy. It allows us to get on with our lives, but there comes a point where this type of survival strategy doesn’t serve anymore. So inviting in the divine feminine then through our radical honesty, requires of us to, with courage, examine and explore and deepen into all of our feelings, all of our patterns, all of our limiting beliefs and not only the ones that we have generated within ourselves, but also the ones that have been put upon us by our society and by our culture and by our family lineage and really examining all of those.

And then with honesty asking: where am I giving away my power? And then giving yourself permission to begin to take your power back. This is what’s going to allow you to become more embodied. When you are living and leading from true, authentic power, it means that you are embodied, you are connected to your true essence. It also means that we stop playing into the paradigms that exist around us. So we stop playing into the belief that says productivity is tied to my self-worth. The more I can produce the higher my output, the more I hustle, the more value it gives to me as a person. We consciously bring feminine wisdom into the way that we do things. What it will require of you is to drop within and check-in with yourself. Instead of checking outside for guidance is to begin to check in with yourself and then with radical honesty ask: what is true for me? What is happening inside of me and what can I do to nurture, to nourish and to support myself.

And this becomes a daily devotional practice depending on your season of life and what’s going on with you and where you are right now, that will determine what these devotional practices look like. So it might be yoga or journaling. I personally do a feminine embodiment movement practice. And I actually did a practice before I did this video, just so that I can land more fully in my body. You can also consider things like creating rituals or prayer or invoking the Goddess as types of devotional practices. Another devotional practice, which ties in more with embodying the divine feminine is when you work with the divine feminine archetypes, which are a representation of this great divine feminine energy. So embodying the qualities and the attributes of that archetype not only allows that to then spill out into your life, but it also supports you to create that sustainable transformation within. So I’m curious to hear from you. What other ways do you practice? What else are you doing to invite the divine feminine into your life? As always, thank you so much for watching. I love you. I appreciate you. And I’ll see you in the next one. Bye.