Tertia Riegler

Feminine Embodiment Coach

Manage Your Life

Setting Boundaries As An Embodied Woman

By establishing boundaries, we send a powerful message to ourselves that we are deserving of protection and that our needs matter. 

Upholding healthy boundaries and assertively expressing them to the world not only increases our self-worth and self-esteem, but also allows us to reveal our authentic selves, communicate our availability, and express our requirements for thriving. 

Boundaries extend beyond mental and physical limits to encompass emotional boundaries and what we are willing to accept or tolerate in relationships. It’s essential to understand that boundaries encompass more than simply setting limits and saying no; they reflect how we value our emotional, physical, mental, and energetic needs.

To embark on the journey of creating boundaries, we can approach it from two angles: embodiment and mindset. 

Embodiment involves being in tune with our bodies and recognizing when something feels off. By becoming more skilled at using our bodies to guide us, we can identify when our boundaries are being violated and when it’s time to establish new ones. 

On the other hand, mindset is about having a positive perspective regarding our self-worth, rights, and what we are available for. When we cultivate a clear mindset aligned with our needs, desires, and tolerances, upholding limits becomes easier.

Know yourself

The more we know ourselves and deepen our relationship with ourselves, the more embodied we are and the more authentic we become in navigating the world. This authenticity allows us to thrive, express ourselves fully, and trust that our decisions and presence reflect the best versions of ourselves. 

In this video, you will learn about the transformative practice of connecting with your true self so that you can become skilled in upholding boundaries.

I share

  • Showing up as your authentic self
  • How the inner felt sense acts as a useful guide
  • 3 helpful practices to get started

Discovering Embodiment Changed My Life

I really mean it when I say that embodiment changed my life.

When I look back at the insecure woman I used to be, she feels like a different person.  

Today, I have deep compassion for that version of me who was so filled with self-doubt and constantly looking for external validation.

I imagine that part of my sensitive nature is what caused me to take everything personally. That certainly didn’t help with creating a healthy and confident sense of self.

This is actually what drew me to personal development work in the first place because I wanted to fix what was wrong with me!

However, the art of embodied living has changed that perspective. There is nothing about me that needs fixing, just as there is nothing about you that needs fixing.

In this video, I talk about my journey and how embodiment helped me change from that insecure woman to believing in myself and having the confidence to be myself.

I want you to know that there is another way to live instead of feeling constantly overwhelmed, second-guessing yourself and having a low thrum of anxiety beating in your belly.  

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

How To Overcome Perfectionism (What I’m Learning)

I was always looking for advice on how to overcome perfectionism.

And then I unexpectedly discovered that my perfectionism tendencies lost their hold on me as I became more skilled in the art of embodiment.

Perfectionism can look like avoiding taking action, not making a decision or not being able to stop working on something.

According to researchers, you get 3 kinds of perfectionism.

The self-oriented perfectionist has a very high expectations of herself and often attaches her worth to her output.

If you are other-oriented it means that you are very concerned about what others are doing and you tend to judge them rather harshly for underperforming.

And finally, the socially oriented perfectionist is overly concerned about how she is perceived by others.

Perfectionism has all kinds of forms and flavours, but one thing that is certain is the immense measure of discomfort that you experience internally when your perfectionism is alive inside of you.

In this video, you will learn

  • how the different types of perfectionism may show up for you
  • how the art of feminine embodiment supported me to overcome perfectionism
  • the importance of working with your wounded masculine and feminine energies

When You Can’t Stop People Pleasing, Here’s What To Try

Overview

Are you in the habit of people pleasing? If you put the needs of others above your own, and you feel responsible for the happiness of those around you, you may also struggle to say no.

In this video, I share with you how to stop being a people pleaser, and how you can learn to say no without feeling guilty about it.

Prefer to read instead? Here is the transcript.

In today’s video, I want to talk to you about how to stop being a people pleaser. How do we stop pleasing people and how do we learn to finally say no without feeling guilty? If you are someone who is always the nice guy and you are always helping other people out to the cost of yourself, then you’re going to find today’s video very helpful. My name is Tertia and on this channel, I show you how to use your inner power and the laws of the universe to completely transform your life. My videos are all about feminine wisdom, self love, self worth, self growth, feminine spirituality, and if any of those things resonate with you, if it calls to your soul, then I invite you to subscribe, join our community, and also make sure that you hit the little bell so you can get notified each time that I upload a new video. If you’ve been trying to stop people pleasing or you’ve been trying to behave differently and you’ve noticed that it hasn’t worked, then I think the things that I’m going to be sharing with you will be very helpful to you. The first thing is the awareness. It’s always the awareness and I say this in so many of my videos. You cannot begin to change anything, you cannot begin to transform anything without the awareness thereof. And the awareness specifically is not just the head knowledge of yes, I’m a people pleaser, I can’t say no, people always take advantage of me because I never turn anyone away, that’s head knowledge and head knowledge doesn’t help me at all. The awareness that I’m talking about here specifically is to connect into the body and to notice when your people pleasing mode gets activated. Become curious and pay attention, is this usually around certain type of people, the same person? Is it usually in a certain situation? Is it when you get asked specific things? Is it with all things? So really become curious as to when this program is triggered and they notice what happens in the body when you resist it. What feelings are they? Can you notice any, I want to call it, energetic turmoil? Is there any turning or agitation that happens inside of you when you even think about resisting or saying no? And ask yourself, what is it that I’m afraid of? What is it that I’m afraid of if I don’t please these people, if I don’t give these people what they want? And that’s going to lead you into beginning to explore what is the driver that keeps this habit in place. Even though we all might have experienced the same thing as children, where we were being a peacekeeper or we were working for the approval of our parents, it manifests in different ways for all of us, even though we carry the same wounding when it comes to being a people pleaser. And that’s why it’s important for you to, as part of your self-awareness, begin to notice when does your pattern get activated. And then following it and understanding what happens in my body energetically, how does it feel? What are the emotions and these sensations? What is it that I’m trying to get away from because what you’ll notice is as soon as you give in to the urge to be accommodating or to be helpful, or to put yourself… or to put others, rather, ahead of yourself, there is going to be kind of a transaction that happens inside of you energetically. And if you can find out what this transaction is, it’s going to allow you to begin to change it. Can you see, it’s really moving from just thinking patterns and trying to think yourself out of a behavior to really working on it on a more energetic level. That’s the short-term solution is the awareness. In the moment, as soon as you notice that you become activated to go into people pleasing mode, notice what is going on with me. The second two points that I want to share with you are more long-term solutions. And the first one is to work around your self worth and your self love. The reason why you are people pleasing, if I can simplify it, is because you are looking for validation outside of yourself. You’re looking for others to let you know that you are okay, that you are valued, that you are worth something, that you are good enough. That’s part of that turmoil that you are trying to quiet inside yourself. And if you can begin to source your self worth from inside of you, instead of going to look for it everywhere outside, you won’t need to accommodate people at the cost of yourself in order to start feeling better, because you’ll be able to do that for yourself. The second long-term strategy that’s going to help you to stop people pleasing is to learn how to take back your own sovereignty, learn how to take back your own power. When we people please, because we are looking for that validation outside of us, because we are looking for the approval of other people, you will also find that there are so many things that you just go along and you don’t even know how you feel about that personally, because you’re always just the easy one, you’re always just going with the flow, you’re always following the crowd, not to rock the boat and to keep everyone happy. One of the things that you can do to begin to stand in your own sovereignty is to identify what are the things that I like? What are my goals? What is it that I long for and that I yearn for? In this process of getting to know yourself better, you can understand what are the things that drive you, what are your values. Part of what happens when we people please is not only are we unable to say no, but we also compromise our own values. And a lot of time, we don’t even know what these values are even though they are operating in the background on an unconscious level. By you learning what your values are, understanding what are those core things that you value most above everything in the world, you can begin to align yourself with that value. And by the act of aligning yourself with these values, by the act of you knowing this is what is important to me, and so I will choose actions and responses and behaviors that honor this which is important to me, that is going to create within you the ability to draw boundaries. If you don’t do that, you will notice that you become resentful. You’ll feel that people take advantage of you, but you don’t have to subject yourself to that. And by honoring your values, by knowing what your goals are, what are those things that are important to you, it’s going to help you stand in your own power. Another part of standing in your own power is learning the ability to hold self compassion and to be able to soothe yourself, to be able to soothe your inner child. So many times, the inner child is the one that pleases. The inner child is the one that is looking for that affection and approval and validation from outside. By learning self-compassion and self soothing techniques, you’ll be able to work with your inner child. And then another point that I can add here is, and this is especially for sensitive people or for empaths is as part of being sovereign is to learn how to separate what you feel from what others feel. A lot of times as empaths, we assume that the feelings of other people are our own and we take responsibility for making people feel better. And that’s also unfair because you’re taking away the opportunity of those people to have their own life experience. I’d like to hear from you now, so let me know in the comments below if you are a people pleaser. I’m assuming you are if you watch this video and perhaps more importantly, which of these strategies that I shared with you resonated the most. The answer to stop being a people pleaser and having the ability to say no without feeling guilty, it isn’t an overnight thing. You can’t just think yourself out of it, but there are definitely some practices that you can do where you take this habit from being just an automatic program that runs in the back of your mind and you bring it into your awareness, and from this point, you can start to change it. I hope that you found this video helpful. And if you did, please let me know in the comments. Also, let me know any other videos that you would like me to make for you around the subject of feminine wisdom or self worth or self love. Also, share this video with anyone who you think might find it helpful. As always, thank you very much for watching and I will see you in the next one.

How To Activate Your Masculine Energy To Get Things Done

Get yourself into action to get things done by using your masculine energy.

Our feminine energy is one of flow and letting go, while the masculine is all about discipline and structure.

In this video, we look at activating your masculine energy.

Balancing our divine masculine and feminine energies are necessary to be able to creatively take action.

Activate your masculine energy when you feel that you talk a lot about what you want to do, but you just never seem to get there!

Resources

Want to work with me personally?

Book a free discovery call to see whether we’re a good fit, and find out how I can support you.

Hacking Your Subconscious Mind (Life Changing Practice)

Overview

Discover how the subconscious mind determines your experiences and what you can do to shift your paradigm, when you want to change any stuck pattern.

In this video, you will learn a 3-step process to hack your subconscious mind. These are the exact steps that I use when I want to reprogram my subconscious and rewire my brain.

Prefer to read instead? Here is the transcript.

We have an incredibly powerful built-in tool that we can use to shape our lives in any way, that we want this tool is the subconscious mind and in this video, I am going to show you how to use its full power to your advantage. By the end of this video, you’ll have a clear understanding of how the subconscious mind determines your experiences and I’m also going to share with you my three-step process that I use myself to shape my life in the way that I want. My name is Tertia and I show you how to use your inner power and the laws of the universe to transform your life. If you’re new here, then subscribe, join our community and say hi to us in the comments below and if you are ready to learn about how you can hack your subconscious mind, then hit the like button and we’ll get started now. In the first part of this video, I want to define the subconscious mind so that we’re on the same page. I’ve divided the video into three parts. So, in part one, we’ll define the subconscious mind. In part two, I’m going to take you through the process of how our subconscious mind determines our experiences and then in part three is where I will share my three-step process to use the power of the subconscious mind to your advantage.  So, let’s look at defining the subconscious mind. There is an iceberg analogy that has been around forever and I really like to use that analogy because to me, it really explains the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious mind. So, it goes like this. Imagine that your mind is an iceberg. Now, we all know what an iceberg looks like? You have a small piece out top and then you have a very big piece hidden underneath the water and the mind looks like that. So our conscious mind makes up the five percent. The tip of the iceberg and underneath the water level we have 95 percent of sub-consciousness. Now, in this part underneath the surface of the water, this part that is underneath our awareness, it’s made up of the subconscious mind, the unconscious and the collective unconscious. Now, exactly what percentage goes where I can’t tell you that we, nobody is sure about exactly how this is divided in and it’s not really important for the purposes of this video. What is important for you to understand is that your conscious awareness only is five percent of your total experience. So, 95 of your experience and your processes happens underneath the surface of the water.  So, it’s below your awareness. Now, obviously the things that are driving this awareness is what determines how you experience your world and if you can find a way to calibrate and condition and change what is underneath the surface, underneath the awareness on your terms. If you can find a way to do it on purpose, you will find that whatever happens in your conscious awareness in this five percent will change as a result and really these deeper layers of the mind is what affects everything in our experience. I’m going to link a video for you down in the description below. This is a video that I made about how we can’t always believe our thoughts and after you’ve watched this video, go and take a look at that video because it’s a nice compliment to what I’ll be talking about in this video. So, my definition that I like to use for the subconscious mind is that it is that part of us that is underneath or below our awareness which influences us and provides suggestions which determines our experiences, right. So, it’s that part that is below our awareness. That provides us with suggestions and that determines our experiences. So, now in part two, I’m going to take you through a diagram that I’ve created. That is really going to show you how this then works in reality? How it works practically? Everything that we experience in our life, gets filtered through a story that we tell ourselves. So, we tell ourselves stories about everything and those stories can also be called perception. We have a perception about certain cultural things. We have a perception about money. We have a perception about other people. We have a perception about how we are being treated. We have a perception about how other people treat other people. So, really this story that we tell ourselves about things and experiences is going to determine how we experience that experience or event, all right. Now, where do these stories come from and this is the interesting thing. These stories come from our thoughts. So, they come from what we think when we have a dominant thought that turns into a story and it comes from our feelings. Now, your feelings is often as a result of your thoughts. If you think something enough, you can start feeling whatever emotion that thought is driving but the feeling also has a feedback loop. So, when you feel something enough, then you start thinking that this is the true feeling. So, these two are always in relation to each other. Your thoughts and your feelings and these thoughts and feelings are what feeds the stories, they start building neural pathways in your brain, the filter through which you observe the world. Now, what happens with these stories is we believe them to be true. So, we engage with them. Engage! We, engage with them. And we never ever or rather we hardly ever question them. So, we believe them to be true and it’s going to be very difficult for anybody to change your story, right. It has to be an internal thing. We can only change our stories ourselves. It doesn’t matter how much somebody tells you something, if you at your core believe that it’s true through these neural pathways that you have created, then no one is going to change that for you but these stories that we tell ourselves that we engage with and that become our belief systems. They always have a consequence, all right.  So, it leads into a consequence and the consequence is always going to lead to action or inaction, all right. You are always making choices either consciously or unconsciously and taking action or not taking action based on the level of engagement and the level of belief. So, the consequence can show up where you are. For example, someone who sees a lot of injustice, you are someone who blames others for your condition or situation. It can be the consequence, can be you or someone who sees opportunity and everything and no matter what happens, you always land on your feet and you always find a way out and you always find a way to get up top. So, the consequence typically is that we have these patterns that continue to show up in our life. We have these patterns that we always fall into, all right. And this is specifically if these are patterns that are not supporting you in your growth and patterns that aren’t, um, helping you transform or up leveling your life, right. Those are the patterns that I’m talking about, that we want to change, okay! Part of why this works is because we have something called the reticular activating system which I’ve spoken about in the video, which I’ll link below and your reticular activating system is always going to show you the data that supports what you are thinking because it’s programmed to do that and this reinforces your thoughts and feelings and what it also does is it reinforces the stories that you tell yourself. So, if we want to reprogram the subconscious mind, if we want to hack our brain, it’s something that we can do because of this functionality, because we have a reticular activating system, because the stories that we tell ourselves through our thoughts and our feelings can become stories that we want to create consciously. We can change the things that we believe, we can change our belief systems by changing the thoughts and changing the feelings and that’s a conscious act this we do that with a five percent that is above our awareness, we do this intentionally and then it becomes subconscious. We become competent in this new habit of thinking or feeling a certain way and I want to share with you now, my three-step process that I use myself to change and shift anything in my life. When I notice that there’s something that I want to change and I want to transform it. Now, it’s important that you follow these three steps in order, all right. You have to do one after the other because that is how it works and they build on each other. You can’t do the second one without having the first one in place.  So, let me take you through the steps. Step number one is awareness. You have to have awareness and it sounds quite obvious when I say it like that but we need to have the awareness to notice what it is that we want to change? This is what it means to wake up, this is what it means to start living with intention and living on purpose is you have the awareness of any patterns that you want to change, any behaviors that you want to change or any perceptions that you know are limiting you. So, when you have this awareness, you can now begin to change it but there’s a second step before the change happens. Step number two and that is to commit commitment is step number two. Commitment means that you are committing to taking responsibility for your thoughts and your feelings from now on and now step number three is where you take action, all right. You cannot change anything in your life. You cannot change anything in your experience simply by being wistfully thinking about it or for wanting it to happen, all right. Wanting something and desiring something is not enough to actually change it. You need to take action, all right. That’s key. So, step number three is we take action and you take action in the following way. The first thing that you take action on is you take action on your thoughts and basically how it works is you start to think as the person who you want to be.  So, if you’ve identified in step one and this is why it’s so important to put these in order or do these in order. When you’ve identified in step one, you’ve created the awareness about what story it is that you want to change and you are ready to commit to becoming a different story. Now, in step three you taking action by thinking the same thoughts that someone who is already, who you want to be would think like. So, for example, if there is something at work that you want to do and you want to maybe speak up more instead of having the argument with yourself or procrastinating or holding back when you’re sitting in a meeting and worrying about what other people will think and what other people will say and how and that they maybe won’t listen to you now. When you are in that meeting as soon as you realize that you are having this inner conflict again, you create a new thought saying I am someone who speaks up.  I speak up with confidence and then you behave like that person who you want to be and you can literally do this with every thought in your life. So, anything that you want to change, you monitor your thoughts, you monitor your thinking. The moment that you realize that you are thinking a thought which is reinforcing the old story that you have, you start thinking a new thought in its place. The second part to taking action is by changing the movies that you play in your mind. Now, we are constantly thinking about different scenarios and we are constantly projecting or fantasizing how things might turn out that leads us to being worried, that can also lead us to being confident depending on what the image is, that you are feeding yourself think about it where in your life do. You have some patterns that you are stuck in or some situations that don’t work for you and you are making these movies in your mind where you playing out the scenario and you imagining what will happen then and what this one will say and when that, with that one will say and what you’re going to do and you imagine how you’re going to feel and you’re building this soap opera in your mind which is only serving to keeping you stuck in the situation that you’re in. So, part of how we reprogram our subconscious minds is by recognizing as soon as you see that movie is playing, you stop it and you rewrite the script. You literally change the way that it plays out or you decide to just switch it off. You replace it with something else but you take conscious control of your brain. That’s busy running away with you of your mind. That’s busy running away with some scenario and then the third thing that you can do, that’s going to help you reprogram your subconscious mind is eft tapping. Now, I’ve made many videos about eft tapping you know. If you follow me that I’m a big believer in the power of eft to help you shift your experiences and shift your vibration, shift everything about your life that no longer serves you. I’m also going to put some videos for you down in the description so you can take a look at those and that will also support you to really complete what I’m teaching in this video, alright. So, just to recap our conscious awareness is only about five percent. So, only five percent of what we experience is in our conscious awareness. So, many other things, our perception, the suggestions that we get the way, that we relate to the world is an unconscious act. It falls below our awareness and our thoughts and our feelings create the stories that we tell to ourselves and the level at which we engage and believe in these determines how we show up in the world that determines the things that happen to us. It determines the opportunities that show up in our lives and if opportunities are there, it determines whether we take these opportunities or not and when we then decide to take conscious control of this, this is how we begin to hack our subconscious mind, this is how we take ownership of our lives and we really determine how we want to live and who we want to be in that life. Now, I’d love to hear from you. So, let me know in the comments below if you found this video helpful. Let me know any patterns that you’ve identified or that you know about. Now, that you are committing to change using the formula and the three-step process that I’ve shared with you and if you enjoyed this video about hacking your subconscious mind, also let me know by giving it a thumbs up. Remember to subscribe if you haven’t done. So, yet share this video with someone who will find it helpful and then thanks for watching. I’ll see you in the next one, bye!