Tertia Riegler

Pleasure and Liberation Embodiment

Helpful Habits

Morning Habits To Nurture Your Feminine Energy

You may be surprised to know that you can use morning habits to nurture your feminine energy.

Traditional morning routine methods are very goal and action-oriented, and that is not the way of the feminine at all!

I used to think that a very productive morning routine was the only way to go, but I have since learned that we benefit much more when we work with both our masculine and feminine energies.

The ways that I use my masculine and feminine energy is through structure and flow.

We need structure (think amount of time allocated ) and flow (think content, ie. what happens during this time) as important ingredients as part of our feminine energy morning routine that feel good.

A morning routine is important.

The way that we first start our day is going to affect the way that our day unfolds.

And when we can start our day with space, and a sense of ease, and possibility it’s going flow into the rest of your day.

Compare that to a day where you tumble out of bed and you stress because you’re running late after smashing the snooze button too many times.

You will go through the day feeling frazzled and disconnected.

The feminine energy morning routine will allow more flow and ease into your day.

Morning Habits To Nurture Your Feminine Energy

In this video, I offer you a way to start your morning, that is less stressful and less driving, and more flowing, and creates a sense of spaciousness and ease.

You will learn

  • How to use the principle of structure and flow
  • How to create a sense of space within
  • How tapping into your physical sense supports your feminine energy

Work with me

If you would like to explore how feminine embodiment coaching can help you feel more sensually alive and be more magnetic, book a free discovery call with me here >>>book it here<<<

You Should Get Dressed Even If You Just Stay Home

Have you given into the temptation of staying in your sweat pants or PJ’s the whole day? Well in today’s episode I want to talk to you about the benefits of getting dressed and why we should do it even if we have nowhere to go.

The psychology behind getting dressed

What is the psychology behind getting dressed in the mornings? We’ll take a look at that now and then you want to make sure that you watch until the end, I’ve put together four looks to show you.  

Often, when we experience great upset or stress in our lives one of the first things to go is self-care, and it’s actually quite ironic to think that we neglect ourselves so easily when that is actually the most important thing that we need to do in times like these.

I definitely think that getting dressed, maybe putting on some makeup and some jewelry is part of a good self-care routine and I know how easy it is to let that slip.

When I was fresh out of school I spent a year overseas working as an au pair and in the first few weeks, I was so homesick that I neglected myself terribly. 

My personal hygiene went out the window, I ended up wearing the uniform that they provided me with every single day even though I didn’t have to.

I couldn’t sleep well,  I didn’t eat well and I really went into a spiral of depression, I had to work hard to get myself out of there. 

I know firsthand how easy it is to just let ourselves go. 

This is where the things that we wear can play such a big role because the clothes that you wear can change the state that you’re in. 

Cognitive psychologists at Northwestern University did some research to try and understand how our clothes can affect our state.

They took two groups of people, they dressed the one group in white lab coats and the other group could wear their street clothes. Then they gave them a task where they had to look for inconsistencies. The people who wore the lab coats had at least fifty percent less errors than the people wearing the street clothes and this led them to come up with a term Enclothed Cognition. 

What they suggest is that the clothes that we wear have a symbolic meaning to us and clothes enhance our psychological state. 

Maybe you can even think of a time where the outfit that you wore at a specific event or instance influenced or affected the way that people interacted and related to you. 

How do your clothes affect you?

If we assume that it’s true that your clothes have a symbolic meaning to you and that it can affect your psychological state, the question then is: what do your clothes that you choose to wear every day do for you? 

When you wake up in the morning ask yourself how do I want to feel today more dynamic, in control, productive,  calm, more relaxed and once you start doing this now you become intentional in your life now you begin to create your day and you choose what it is that you’re going to put out into the world.  

I think there’s a lot of power in our intentional choices and in becoming self-aware enough to say that this is how I want to feel and this is what I’m going to do to support me to get there.

I know from firsthand experience how easy it is to feel lethargic and unmotivated and uninspired if you don’t get yourself dressed in real clothes. And once you’re stuck in that negative cycle it’s very difficult to get yourself out of it. 

I think we’ve got enough going on in the world, that we need to do whatever it is that we can to support our mood and our mental well-being and I can tell you now that getting dressed in real clothes will help you do that. 

If you’ve not yet done so please remember to subscribe like this video if you enjoyed it and share it with a friend. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll see you in the next one. 

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Morning Routine Method – Try These 5 Simple Steps

Most people will agree that having an effective morning routine method helps set a good foundation for your day.

However, many people struggle to find a morning routine that works for them, and there is a good reason why that is. What works for me won’t necessarily work for you!

We all have different life situations, we have different types of energy and ultimately we all have different goals and dreams.

So, it makes sense that you develop a morning routine method that actually works with wherever you are in your life.

The benefit of morning routines

When you start your day off with a morning ritual, you are basically taking control of your brain. It’s like you’re telling your subconscious mind, thanks for playing, but today I will take charge of my decisions, and my thinking.

It is easy to slip into autopilot mode where you simply go through the action of living without consciously creating your days.

The whole purpose then, of having an effective morning routine method, is to become the master of your life and future. You become intentional in your choices and ultimately you will find that you have more resilience in dealing with any daily challenges that may arise.

5 Simple Steps

Trying to plug someone else’s routine into your lifestyle can be frustrating and many people give up because of this. However, having a morning routine sets you up for the day, and it is a key ingredient in helping you achieve your goals!

When I started experimenting with different routines, I got frustrated because a lot of the routines out there simply didn’t fit into my lifestyle.

Over the past 2 years, I’ve managed to hone down my personal morning routine and in the process, I’ve identified 5 core ingredients to a successful routine.

1 Get up earlier

Getting up earlier gives you the time to be intentional with your life.

2 Get enough sleep

Get enough sleep so that you can maintain your energy levels during the day and not turn into a cranky monster.

3 Wake your body and mind

After being in bed for between 6-8 hours, waking your body and mind with exercise and meditation sets you up for the day.

4 Set a daily intention

Setting an intention grounds you and supports you in handling any challenges during the day.

5 Clutter-free space

Don’t let clutter distract you during this important time for yourself.

Next steps

Once you have these essential components in place you can bring in different things, such as journaling, reviewing your goals or reading for your personal growth.

Morning routines let you be intentional with your life, which in turn can improve many different areas of your life.

These 5 simple steps are the key ingredients to any successful routine.

If you struggle to nail down your morning routine, this method will help you create a routine that works with your life.

Let me know in the comments below how you design your morning routine!

5 Simple Living Habits That Actually Reduce Stress And Anxiety

If you are alive in the world today, chances are that you experience stress. You might even wear your stress like a badge of honour.

But let’s face it, stress and anxiety will cost you dearly. You pay the price in your relationships, your self-esteem and your overall sense of well-being.

So, while stress might be an unavoidable part of life, it’s possible to reduce your stress by cultivating some simple living habits.

The cost of too many choices

Our world is noisier than ever before, we work longer hours, and society and popular culture demand us to do more, be more and have more.

We can buy want we want with the click of a button and we spend countless hours looking at someone else’s fabulous life on Instagram or Facebook.

The downside of having so many options available is that we become overwhelmed by choice.

We can literally paralyze our brains by giving it too much input, leading to decision fatigue. And this overwhelm causes us to have more stress than we need.

If this feels like your life, it is a great reason for you to simplify your life.

That way, you can reduce the stress and the demands and the exhaustion that comes from having too many choices, and too many things in your life which are, in the bigger scheme of things, not really important to have.

How to Reduce Stress and Anxiety through Simple Living Habits

Think a bit about the things which cause you stress.  

Your boss? Your relationships? Your messy house? Your growing debt?  No work-life balance? Eating or drinking too much?

By downshifting your life, you are effectively trading your high–stress life for a more simple one.

Stress is not always harmful.  Actually, a certain amount of stress keeps you on your toes and can improve your productivity and output.

But, being under constant stress wears you down.

Like the label inside your new shirt which scratches a little bit to start off with, and at the end of the day, your skin is rubbed raw.

What is a simple life?

Even if you take nothing else away from this post, hear this: Simplifying your life looks different for everyone, as does minimalism or living a slower life.

There is no right way to have a simple life. AND. When you simplify your life, you reduce the amount of stimulation you are exposed to, which in turn leads to a reduction in your stress levels.

What simplifying your life is not

  • a set-in-stone prescribed way to live
  • living in poverty
  • living off the land
  • becoming vegan or vegetarian
  • being a hippy
  • rejecting  modern technology
  • owning less than 100 possessions, or only 20 books or 2 pairs of socks

The benefits of simplifying your life

  • More fulfilment as you align with your values
  • Greater appreciation for what you have
  • More time for what is important to you
  • Less financial stress as you reduce your debt
  • More balanced life
  • Increased creativity
  • Increase in your overall sense of wellbeing

5 ways to reduce stress by simplifying your life

1. Identify your values

Reducing your stress and focusing on what is important to you, will help you have a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

So, do you know what is important to you? We all have our own personal values or core values that drive our behaviour – both consciously and unconsciously.

Your values are literally that which your value above all else. Some common values are independence, love, family, peace, recognition, and connection.

If you don’t yet know your core values, take some time to identify them.

Make a list of the things which are most important to you.  Prioritize these and then reduce this list down to 5-7 top values.

When you know what your core values are, it can help you with making decisions. It gives you inner peace when you start living in alignment with your values.

2. Declutter

Research is showing us that a cluttered home is a stressful home.  

A large percentage of middle-class families suffer from a storage crisis, effectively causing them not to enjoy the possessions that they work so hard for.

You know the problem with clutter.  As soon as you have too many things all over the place, it’s difficult to find anything and your life feels chaotic.

You end up spending no time in your backyard because of the mess, your house stresses you out because it is so full and untidy,  and don’t even start on the garage, where you can only just fit your car in.

The way out of this is to reduce your stress by simplifying the amount of stuff you own.  BUT. Don’t go on a decluttering frenzy. You’ll exhaust yourself and get demotivated. And worst of all, the clutter will come back.

It is much better to take it slow and steady and declutter over a period of time, even if it takes you 6 months or longer!

3. Become Present

A lot of the stress we experience comes from the anticipation of an event somewhere in the future.  Or about remembering something painful, unpleasant or embarrassing from the past.

And while we might logically know that we can’t change anything in the past, or that worrying about the future won’t solve anything, we still do it.

Some of us even become so addicted to living there that we almost forget that our lives are actually happening here.  

I believe that a big part of simple intentional living is to live in the present, which will automatically help reduce stress and anxiety.

We worry about the things we think about, and often it is either about something we wish we did differently or something we stress about in our future.

By becoming more present and practicing mindfulness you will find that your stress reduces. It’s not really possible for our brains to be in two places at the same time. It is either in the past, the present or the future.

The most effective way that I know to become present is to use your breath.

Consciously take a few deep breaths into your chest and stomach area (not your shoulders because you don’t have lungs there!).

If you do this over and over again, you will find that you live less inside your head, where the past and the future lie, and more inside your body, which is in the present moment.

4. Stop with the Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a pain.  You are always going the extra mile, always afraid of not being good enough and always doubting yourself.  Talk about complicating our own life!

I am a recovering perfectionist and I know exactly how much unnecessary stress and anxiety it introduces into EVERYTHING.  

Simplify your life by doing the inner work you have to, in order to squash the perfectionism bug.

My mantra that I now consciously live by is that “good enough is good enough”.

5. Say goodbye to toxic relationships

The friend who only phones you when she’s in trouble.   Or, your friend who constantly puts you down in a joking way. Or the one who leaves you feeling exhausted after you’ve spent some time with her.

I had a friend like this.  Each time, after I’ve been in her company, I felt sad and anxious.  It took me a little while to figure out that this happened only when I was with her, and so I decided to let the friendship go.  

Often we don’t realize how toxic relationships like these affect us.  And, it might even take a long time to figure out exactly what is going on, as it took me.

If you have friendships like this in your life, perhaps now is a good time for you to think about which of these are worth keeping, and which relationships you can let go of.

Use the list of values that you’ve identified in point 1, to help you with your decision.

Cutting these toxic relationships from your life will free up your own energy to focus on those relationships that nurture and support you.   

Top 5 ways to reduce stress through simple living

  • Identify your values
  • Declutter
  • Become present
  • Stop with the perfectionism
  • Say goodbye to toxic relationships

You don’t need to move into a cave, and avoid contact with the modern world in order to save yourself from a stress-filled existence.

You simply need to start with you. A small change here and there in your lifestyle, in your thinking and in your habits, to ultimately lead to a life where you have less stress and more living.

Finish What You Start – How To Make Sure You Do It

Are you someone who easily starts on a new project but you often find it difficult to finish what you start?

Most of us aren’t short on great ideas – going back to school, getting the basement redecorated, starting a business, getting fit.

But then life sort of happens and we leave unfinished projects in our wake, only to feel bad that we can never seem to reach some sort of an end.

It’s easy to feel demotivated when your mind is working against you, and that makes it even harder to finish what you start.  

Especially when you then start comparing yourself to other people.  

It happened to me this week. I’ve been diving into personal development blogs and looking at what the *big* guys are doing.

I started feeling insignificant.   As if what I have to say doesn’t matter.  

It looked so tempting to just give up.

But we can’t live like that.

Even when we feel as if we are insignificant, or we don’t have the right words, or we’ve never run a mile, or cooked a healthy meal before, we still owe it to ourselves to give it a shot.

And that got me thinking:  I pretty much design my life every morning.  We all do, whether it is a conscious act, or whether it is through our habitual thoughts and automatic patterns.

So then, how can we design our lives to stay motivated and finish what we start?

There is no short answer, but a good place to start is to know your personal values and live in alignment with them.  That means to make sure that all your decisions honor your core values, and what is important to you.

Don’t expect something from yourself which is not authentic to who you are.  

So, how do we finish what we start?

It’s fun to start new things.

But typically it follows a certain process.

  1. You get all excited about your new project
  2. There are lots of things to think about, research, buy, build or change and this keeps you in motion.
  3. Then once the foundation is in place, the upkeep comes.

It’s heady to get caught up in the excitement of creating things.

You are enthusiastic about setting yourself up. You get carried away imagining how great it’s going to be.

But after a while, you lose momentum. Daily upkeep becomes boring and you start thinking of (totally-valid-in-your-mind-anyway) reasons why this wasn’t such a cool idea.

Maybe you lose faith in your own ability to succeed when the newness wears off, and reality sets in.

You lose sight of what it is that you are actually trying to do here.

And usually, that’s when you start comparing your results or efforts to that of others.  

You start telling yourself that what you are doing doesn’t actually make a difference, or it is not really so good and therefore you are wasting your time.  

So you shove it under the carpet and go after the next shiny object.

Imagine this. You want to run a marathon.

So reality hits and here comes the slog of having to run every day for 2 miles.  Pretty soon you stop enjoying your cute pair of running shorts.  Your running shoes don’t make you feel so fast anymore.

One day you find an excuse for why you don’t need to run today.  Then, 2 days later, another excuse. And again and again. Until finally, you find your shoes 4 months later, shoved into the back of the closet with only a few sad cobwebs for company.

See the big problem here?

You become focused externally and you forget WHY you actually started in the first place.

If you understand why this happens to you (and that it most likely will), it makes it easier to take care of your behaviors and habits and change your outcomes.

Remind yourself what it is that you are trying to do here.  That is why setting goals and looking at them again and again, is what will help you finish what you start.

Remember, the answer to sustained changed is to take continuous small actions.

That is why you need to set goals for yourself.

This way, you know what it is that you want (need) to do.  Give yourself a deadline too. Without deadlines, we don’t have a sense of urgency to push us into action.

Warning: Instead of creating the biggest-damn-ass-goal that you can possibly think of and stopping there, rather create a smaller goal that will get you to your ultimate BIG GOAL.

Why?

So that you don’t freak yourself out by going after something which is completely outside of your domain of power of where you are *right now*.

This then is the process I suggest:

  1. Set small goals
  2. Commit to your new project and remind yourself what you are trying to achieve
  3. Continuously review how you have done so far, and see where you can do better / save time / be more efficient

Little steps.

Let’s go back to the example of running.  

Big Goal:  Run a half marathon

Small goal: get cute running gear and commit to an initial running schedule.

Then, once the glamour of the new outfit and super fast shoes wears off, and you’ve been keeping up with you 2 days running a week, you move onto a new goal that you set within the overall goal.  

  • Add 1 more day to your weekly running schedule.
  • Shave 30 seconds of your existing time.  
  • Add another 2 miles to your distance.

You get the picture.  Now you are starting to challenge yourself.  This is what keeps you motivated and inspired.

A huge reason why we don’t finish what we start is because we go too big too soon.

When I started doing yoga 18 months ago, I didn’t decide I was going to do yoga every day for the rest of my life.  Talk about overwhelming.

Instead, I decided to do yoga 2 days a week to start off with, and with only a few poses at that.  I then gradually increased the number of poses in my workout, and the number of days.

After about 2 months I build up to a 20-minute sequence which I now do daily, without even thinking about whether I should.  It has become a habit and part of my morning routine.

What if your goals change?

It happens that we start a project or follow a new interest, only to realize after a while that we really don’t want that.

Your personal values will determine whether you push through for the sake of finishing, or whether you stop and go into a new direction.

But a point to mention here is that we should never take our commitment to ourselves lightly.

Even if you do find that your priorities have changed, if you practice the habit to finish what you start, rather than abandoning projects willy-nilly it will help improve your life in incremental ways.

9 Habits To Improve Your Life

It’s part of our nature to want to improve our lives and the good habits we build are the cornerstone of designing a life we want.

It’s one thing to think about changing and improving your life, quite another to take action.

An easy mistake to make when we want to do things differently is to change too many things at the same time.

The result is that you quickly become overwhelmed and disillusioned and before you know it you are back to your old patterns.  And sometimes even worse than before!

But fear not, there are ways to start good habits to improve your life AND make them stick.

Not all new habits are created equal or demand the same level of effort.  Think about drinking a glass of water each morning as you wake up, vs. working out to get your body back into shape.

Good Habits to Improve your Life

The trick is to start with new habits that are easier to establish.  This way you are strengthening your habit-building muscles, setting you up to go after bigger goals, and ultimately practicing good habits to improve your life daily.

There is a quiet beauty in being consistent and noticing small results.  

Even taking the smallest action creates change.  And taking these small actions consistently is what helps us hit our goals to transform our lives.

Habits to Improve Productivity

1. Plan your day

Planning your day basically means that you have a series of small goals to hit.  I find it extremely satisfying to do what I set out to, as I’m sure you do too.

Just don’t make the mistake of trying to plan your day up to the second (see below).   What works for me is to have an overall *big picture* of what I want my day to look like.

2. Schedule important tasks

Even though I love planning and scheduling, I love being flexible too.  I tried time blocking specific tasks in my calendar for every day, but it totally freaked me out when I looked at my calendar afterward.  No space to breathe. (But. There is a benefit to using time blocking, you just need to experiment with a way that works for you.)

To start this new habit, choose ONE most important task for the day, and write it down where you can see it.

3. Declutter your desk

Or at least throw away all the rubbish lying around on it.  We all have different tolerance levels when it comes to what we perceive as clutter.  However, there is enough evidence to show that being distracted by the things around us, impacts our productivity and efficiency.  

Get started with this habit by taking 5 minutes to clear your desk at the end of your workday.

Habits to Improve Wellbeing

4. Do some stretches first thing in the morning

Our bodies are stiff from lying still for 6-8 hours and doing a few stretches gets the blood flowing into your body AND brain.  Plus, when you combine your stretches with focused breathing and get your heart rate up a bit (like when you do yoga), you’ll also release some feel-good endorphins into your bloodstream #win!

To start this new habit, get some help online. Youtube is gold when you are looking for videos with morning yoga or stretches.

5. Meditate, contemplate or reflect

Even something as simple as sitting (or lying) down with your eyes closed for 2 minutes while you focus on your breathing will do wonders to help you ease into the day.  

It goes without saying that you can also make this part of your evening routine before you go to bed to help settle you, and prepare you for a good night’s rest.

6. Make self-care part of your life

Having your nails done once a week is not the kind of self-care I’m talking about, although it is fun.

What I mean is to take care of your Inner Self. Start paying attention to your emotions and feelings. Lean into them and allow them to be, rather than resisting them or silencing them with food, alcohol or mindless activities.

Habits to Improve your Mindset

7. Focus on solutions, not problems

A knee-jerk reaction is to get caught up in negativity when faced with challenges in life.  Focusing on failure and problems stumps our growth.

Rather use failure as a lesson of what doesn’t work and tackle the problem from another angle.  

Start this new habit by taking some alone time, and thinking about your situation and let you mind brainstorm possible solutions, don’t hold back. You might even surprise yourself with your creativity.

8. Challenge yourself to be less than perfect

Perfectionism is a terrible habit that always makes you feel as if you are not good enough.  I’m a recovering perfectionist and I can easily say that the best thing for me was to get rid of my perfectionist tendencies.  It holds you back in so many ways and severely limits your chances of creating the lifestyle you really want.

Whenever you find yourself procrastinating or wasting time on insignificant details (or whatever your pattern is), tell yourself that good enough is good enough and stop what you are doing (or start).

9. Focus on what you can control

The easiest way to feel helpless and like a victim is to get stressed out, angry or scared about things that you have no control over.  

This is one habit that I have personally been working with a lot since I can worry about absolutely everything if I let myself!

This new habit asks that you focus on the things you can control such as your actions and responses,  whether your flight is delayed, you’re stuck in a traffic jam or you’re dealing with a frustrating colleague.

The most important thing

Consistency is the most important thing when you start a new habit.  Your habit will take time to get hardwired in your brain.

To help with being consistent, set reminders for yourself.  You can link your new habit to something which you already do to help trigger you.  Think about when you get up, go to sleep, brush your teeth, have breakfast, get home or take a shower.

You didn’t become the person you are today overnight, and you won’t change to someone else overnight either.  But you can be intentional in who you want to become, and how you want to live.

Each small action you take and each (good) habit you start will improve your life and help to transform you into the person you want to be.