Many people seem to believe that confidence is something that we are born with. Truth is, confidence is not something that is static and fixed. Instead, confidence has to do with our belief about our ability to succeed at something.
So, our thoughts and our actions largely determine how confident we are. It gives us an intrinsic attitude of confidence. Can you see that if you rely on external factors to help you feel confident, the moment when things don’t go well for you, your confidence will plummet?
Because confidence is not static and can fluctuate over time it can certainly feel stronger or weaker at different times.
There are certain things we do which can boost our confidence. When we take risks and we succeed, it boosts our self-confidence and because confidence is not static, the more we boost it the stronger it becomes.
What I see with my clients, is that they get stuck in their heads when they lack confidence. Sure, committing to something when we are presented with a choice entails risk. But the risk is worse to spend too much time analyzing without taking action.
However, by facing our fears, taking chances and learning from our experiences, we stop playing safe and start to stand tall in our own lives. Playing it safe keeps you in your comfort zone. Stuck in a personal rut. And when you are stuck in a rut, it means no personal growth.
To take a risk is to get to know yourself, to explore your talents and to give yourself the opportunity to grow. You can start to see a different side of yourself. You begin to cheer yourself on. You don’t need to start off with massive changes in your life. Even one small change, changes the direction of your life path. It may be as simple as taking a different route to work, reviewing your personal style or wearing something different and flattering. Perhaps changing your hairstyle or choosing something you usually wouldn’t from the menu.
It can be bigger – breaking free from toxic relationships where people belittle you or take advantage of your kindness. Breaking the habit of equating your self-worth to what other people think of you, while at the same time you don’t think highly of yourself at all. Standing up in the meeting at work, and having your say. Shifting your focus from a habitual negative outlook to a more positive one.
Try this:
The next time when you are in a situation where you have an opinion on something, instead of keeping quiet like you usually would out of fear, share your opinion.
You might be surprised at how positively people respond to you if you express yourself clearly and confidently.
Remember that confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle, it becomes stronger the more you exercise it.