When you don’t honor yourself, it can show up in any area of your life. What you eat. How you talk about yourself. The company you keep. What you say about yourself. The dynamics of your relationships.
I once was in a relationship that was unhealthy for me and my partner. I complained to my friends about how miserable I was. I would sit on their couch and give them a blow-by-blow (figuratively speaking) account of the latest argument.
In painstaking detail I described everything that he did, said, didn’t do and what I wish he’d do instead.
It’s wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t fair to either him or me, or to my poor friends for that matter. I lacked the courage to break it off. I measured my worth to me being in a relationship and I was scared to be single. What if no-one loved me again? What if this was the best I could get? What would I do if I was alone? Who would I be if I wasn’t this complaining, unhappy person?
I stayed in that relationship way longer than what I should have, but eventually I did end it.
Through that experience I have learnt something which is key to the work that I do today, in my own life and with my clients – you show others how to treat you by the way in which you treat yourself.
Today I want to tell you about 4 practices in which you can honor yourself to experience more joy and happiness in your life.
#1 Come from love
Be kind to yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. Listen out for the critical voice in your head and turn down the volume.
#2 Learn to let go
Holding on to old hurts and grudges makes you old and sad. You end up being energetically connected to that which you find so upsetting. Learn the art of letting go. Make the decision to release the anger.
#3 Stop seeing yourself as a victim
Whether it is about working too hard, not being acknowledged, sacrificing everything for your family, being so busy at work that you don’t have time to go to the toilet (yeah I know, someone actually shared this with me, quite proud about the fact that her day is so hectic).
#4 Practice mindfulness
No, you don’t need to move to an ashram. Develop the skill of becoming present to everything you do. Even the most mundane task can become inspiring when you are mindful when doing it.
All those years ago, my tank of self love and honor was near empty. I have since learnt various different methods to fill it up. And like a car, you need to keep on filling it up, consciously and on purpose.
Here is your task for today:
Choose one item on the list to implement right away. Once you have incorporated that as a daily practice, you can choose the next one to add.
What other ways are there in which you honor yourself? Is it something that comes easy to you? Let me know in the comments below.