I’ve been in the business of growth and self actualization for as long as I can remember. In fact I remember it to be 2001. This is when I first learnt about how our thoughts can influence how we experience reality. I was delighted that we could choose to manage and control our own thoughts.
Due to us being human however, there are varying degrees of success in achieving this. After careful observation of my clients and myself I have identified a view key behaviours which seem to be universal.
And this my friends, is my list of the 9 things we do which help to keep us stuck exactly where we are.
1 Beat yourself up about being “broken”
You obviously need to fix yourself, which is why you spend so much time and effort on personal development. And the more you learn, the more you figure out how much else is wrong with you. So you need to be very stern with yourself about being broken. And remember to give yourself all the blame for things not working out. Remember to say things like, it’s because my mom/dad/grandpa/aunt took the ball from me when I was 3. Now I struggle to believe I am worthy to receive something.
2 Attend lots of workshops
Sign up for that workshop or seminar which promises to change your life. Get all hyped up during the sessions and tell your friends and family what they need to do differently in order to reach their potential / feel happier / have more money or ______________. Only apply the tools you learn in the workshop for the first 2 days. Then start looking for a new workshop to go to.
3 Buy lots of personal development books
Buy all the personal development books you can find. Scour Amazon for highly rated books. Find out what you favourite bloggers recommend. Create a library of personal development books, but don’t waste time reading them. Just get more books. You can also get Kindle books instantly, but only read the first chapter before moving on.
4 Sign up for blog updates
This way you get lots of free stuff, like ebooks or worksheets or manifesto’s. Don’t read them but save them all in a folder on your desktop called “Personal Development Stuff” or similar. After a few weeks, unsubscribe from the blog and move on to the next one.
5 Keep on remembering
Constantly remind yourself about the hardships you endured or the shitty things that you did in your past. That way you can keep yourself accountable and you (probably) won’t do it again. Also, you have to keep on remembering how much your life sucks or how badly you were treated, otherwise you won’t have something to fix (see point 1).
6 Master the jargon
Know all the buzzwords around law of attraction, self-growth, abundance manifestation, self-acceptance. But don’t actually apply any of it yourself. Just read a lot about it and see you if you find a workshop that can teach you some new tricks. It’s even better if you can tell your friends and family (who obviously are in need help) how to apply these techniques in their lives.
7 Visualize often
Build big lofty dreams about how you life can be different. Make time when you can, even when you’re at work and no-one is looking, to seriously visualise about how much better your life will be if you have more money, or if you become your own boss, or if you are in a relationship. But be careful not to take any steps that would actually mean you take action.
8 Wait until it’s perfect
Always wait for the right time before you start anything. Whatever you do, don’t save money, start that blog or go on that a date. In fact, make sure you spend as much time as possible preparing and getting everything perfect before actually going into action. You can also look out for signs from the universe that now is the right time. Another great idea is to wait for the first of each month before attempting anything. That way it stays neat and tidy.
9 Judge others a lot
Specifically around how emotionally stumped they are and how the only transformation they will experience is if they are a caterpillar. Due to your huge exposure to all things personal development you should be able to easily see where others can be fixed.
OK, so ‘fess up, which ones are you guilty of? Spill it in the comments below! I read every one.
A special shout out to Vishnu who wrote this post which gave me the inspiration for today’s lesson.